Fathers And Their Daughters
As daughters grow up, dads are faced with various struggles. For many fathers, it's hard not to stress over your daughters' safety and you want to protect them in every possible way. From battling the boys to misunderstanding her feelings, there are common struggles every girl dad will face, but there are ways you can cope and understand her better.
1. Female Emotions
The female emotions will take you on a wild ride. Your daughter might yell at you for no reason or throw a tantrum because you ate the last cookie. There’s a lot of intense emotions building inside of her, and she’ll unleash them sometimes when you least expect it. Dads often find it difficult to understand these overly dramatic reactions.
Open up!
Open up to her. Have an open and honest conversation about what she’s going through and how she feels. Be a good listener and hear what she’s expressing. In times of chaos, instead of screaming back at her, talk to her when she’s calmed down and address what sparked the rage and tears.
2. Boys!
The most common struggle for dads is dealing with the boys in their daughter’s life. You know all too well what you and your buddies were like when you were young and it terrifies you. If you had your way, you’d send her to an all-girls school and not let any male within a mile of her.
Don’t Be Strict
Talk to your daughter about the red flags to look out for with boys her age but don’t have any strict rules that ban her from talking to them, she’ll hate you for it and do it anyway. You can get to know her male classmates and friends if that helps you to know who she’s hanging around. Knowing you’ll be there for her when she needs you will do so much better than enforcing strict rules.
3. Over Protecting
It’s tough to let her go. All you want to do is protect your little girl from harm and keep her safe. Dads often experience a lot of anxiety about their daughter’s safety and it’s a huge struggle for them to hold back. A dad wants to be her bodyguard and her hero 24/7 and all she wants is for him to leave her alone.
Respect Her Boundaries
Let her know you have her back if she needs you, give her advice and precautions, then take a step back. Set up boundaries you can both agree on and respect her privacy and personal space. If you build a relationship on trust and honesty she’ll feel supported without being smothered.
4. Disconnection
Often fathers will feel disconnected from their daughters because they don’t have a lot in common or they’re involved in activities you have no clue about. You might want a relationship with your daughter but you have no idea what to talk about that won’t send her to sleep. You fear you’ll lose your bond and you don’t always understand her interests or feelings.
Seek Support
Talk to her mom or other parents about how they interact with their daughters. Share your concerns with your partner, friend, or therapist who can help you and give advice. Learn how mothers connect with daughters and educate yourself on your kid’s topics of interest. Engage yourself in her activities and show genuine interest in her hobbies.
5. Her Clothing Choices
You’re not letting her leave the house in that outfit! Your girl isn’t a baby anymore and she dresses herself and you can’t handle it. She’d be wearing turtle necks in the summer if it were up to you but you know that’s not right.
Respect With Caution
You might not agree with her outfit choices but it’s not your place. It’s not 1950 anymore and we have to respect the female body and girls’ choices to feel confident in their own skin. You can teach her how to dress for the weather and what’s appropriate attire for public school but at the end of the day, she’ll wear what she feels good in.
6. Her Independence
Dads often struggle when their daughters seek independence. She’s depended on you for many things but as she grows, she’ll become less dependent on you for certain things at every age. Letting their daughters make decisions is a harsh reality fathers have to deal with.
Empower Her!
Encourage your daughter to be confident and make her own decisions. If you’ve raised her on how to make healthy choices then you’ve done your part. Let her know she has your support and be there for her when she makes mistakes. Praise her for her accomplishments big and small.
7. The Presence Of Sexism
Knowing that sexism still exists in the world is hard to cope with when you have a daughter. There are times she will be faced with harassment and gender equality issues and you wish you could take it all away. Dads will notice the inequality and disrespect girls face more intensely once they have daughters.
Be A Role Model
Show your daughter how women should be treated by the way you treat her, her mother, and any other females in your life. Be the role model male figure that respects women. Acknowledge that sexism exists and prepare her for obstacles she may face. Be her teacher by letting her know about gender stereotypes and how she can stand up against them.
8. Hitting Puberty
The puberty stage is awkward for everyone. Dads in particular will have a hard time handling their daughters’ puberty because they can’t relate. Fathers often feel awkward talking about periods or anything to do with puberty with their daughters. The female anatomy and hormones may be a completely foreign topic to them.
Prepare & Educate Yourself
Learn everything there is to know about female puberty before your daughter turns that age. The more prepared you are and the more you understand about puberty will benefit you both. It’ll get rid of that awkward stigma and if she doesn’t want to talk about it, at least you’ll understand more about what she’s going through.
Reproductive Health Supplies Coalition on Unsplash
9. Her Life Decisions
Fathers might find it hard to let their daughters make all the decisions for themselves because they think they know what’s best. You might not always agree with the decisions your daughter makes and she won’t listen to your opinion. Whether it's her relationships or career path, you have to watch her make poor choices sometimes, and arguing with her only makes things worse.
Take A Step Back
You can give her feedback when she asks for it or raise your concerns if you feel the situation is harmful. However, after you give your two cents, you need to take a step back and let her make her own choices. Do everything you can to speak to her about decision-making without talking down to her.
10. Her Friends & Relationships
Dads will struggle when they don’t like who their girl is hanging out with. You might think her new friends are bad influences or you don’t like how she’s become distant since she made a new group of friends. If she says she has a boyfriend or girlfriend you’ll lose it and your anxiety will go through the roof.
Don’t Judge!
You might be making the wrong judgments about your daughter’s friends because when it comes to your kid, you’re on high alert. Even the slightest sign of negativity will cause you to think the worst and blame other kids when your daughter acts out. Don’t judge them without getting to know them first. Make an effort to engage with her friends without being intrusive and show genuine interest by asking her questions. She’ll feel more comfortable letting you know what’s going on in her life with this approach and you’ll gain a more authentic opinion.
