More Than Just Baby Fever
You've been through it all—the sleepless nights, the first words, the first steps, the panic attacks of not knowing whether your kid just upchucked because they didn't like the food or if they're allergic, and if you should call your doctor for the billionth time. Through the mess (or grace) of your first attempt at parenthood, you might now be thinking: Should I do it all over again? Here's how to tell whether you should rethink that decision—or go for it.
1. You Don't Have the Financial Means
A big sign that you probably shouldn't have a second kid is if you don't think you'll be able to afford it. Parenting one kid is difficult and expensive enough—parenting two could be a nightmare if you're not financially ready for it. If you think you might struggle even just buying the essentials, you should hold back for now.
2. You're Not in a Good Mental Space
Another clear sign you shouldn't have another baby is if you're not currently in a good place mentally. Whether you're still battling postpartum depression or you have other things going on in your life that are weighing you down, prioritize your mental health and your first child before trying for a second.
3. You Already Have Your Hands Full
Maybe your first kid is already a handful. Sure, babies are playful, curious beings, but sometimes you might get a toddler that will not stop moving. Even if you don't want a big age gap between your first and second child, if your time, space, and attention are already all preoccupied... give it another year (or two).
4. You Have a Full-Time Job
Maybe your maternity leave just ended and you now have far less time to spend with your child—adding two to the equation just wouldn't be the right choice at the moment. You'll need to make a decision on whether you want to pause your career to grow your family, and if that thought makes you hesitant, it might mean you're not ready.
5. You Want to Go Back to School
Looking to go back to school? Throwing a second child into the mix is probably not the best idea right now. Just like a full-time job, being a student takes a lot of time, patience, and energy—three things you'll definitely need to raise another kid on top of your first one.
6. You Feel Dread at the Idea of Another Kid
This is a pretty obvious one—if you dread the thought of having another kid, you... probably shouldn't have another kid. At the same time, if you like entertaining the idea one second only to then completely reject it the next, that's also a clear sign you're not ready.
7. You Don't Have a Reliable Support System in Place
If you or your partner won't always be there for your child because you both are preoccupied with work, school, or other responsibilities, and you both don't have a backup support system in place, you should probably hold off having a second child for now. Sure, you could send both of them to daycare, but this might not be fair to you or them.
8. You Haven't Quite Got Parenting Down Yet
It's not that you're bad at parenting, but if you haven't quite got the basics down yet, don't have another kid just to treat them like another test baby. Give it a few more years and maybe you'll have perfected parenthood with your first child enough to be ready for a second one.
9. You're Still Healing from Your Last Birth
If you're still healing mentally and physically from your first child, you'll only stress yourself out more by having a second one. Allow yourself time to fully recover so that you have enough energy to raise not just one little munchkin, but two.
10. You Often Want a Break from Parenthood
Whether you're a young parent or you regret not having explored enough or traveled more before having your first child, it's understandable that you'd want a break. Parenthood isn't easy, so if you already find it tough handling one kid, hold off on having a second.
But what are some signs you are ready for another kid? Let's explore 10 ways you just know.
1. You Can Handle the Added Expenses
You have a house, a car, your essentials. You pay your bills on time, you're not struggling to get by every month, and you're handling the added expenses of your first kid well. If you know you're financially capable enough to support a second child and you're already thinking of having another one—go for it.
2. You Have a Stable Support System
If you have a loving, stable support system in place that will be able to look after your kids whenever you're not able to, that's another good sign. This means that you don't need to always rely on daycares, allowing your children to spend more time with close friends and family.
3. You Want Your Child to Have a Sibling & Playmate
Has your first child come up to you and asked for a sibling? If you like the sound of that idea and you know you're capable of handling a second one running around, then go for it! Kids might feel lonely growing up without a playmate at home, especially if both parents are often busy, so granting them a sibling may be just the solution.
4. Your First Child Is in a Good Place
If you've raised your first kid well and they're now in a great place or even mature enough to help you around the house, then that could be a sign that having a second one wouldn't add too much to your plate. Your first child would probably love to care for and baby their sibling as well!
5. You & Your Partner Both Agree
Another clear sign you're ready for another kid? When both you and your partner agree! This means you're both in the best mental and physical space to handle a second munchkin and you can't wait to do it all over again.
6. You Want to Experience the First Stages of Parenthood All Over Again
As tough as those initial months (or years) were with your first child, there were many rewarding moments and you look back fondly on how you've grown as a parent. Now that you're a little more equipped to handle another one, you want to experience those first stages all over again—yes, even the sleepless nights!
7. You're Mentally & Physically in the Right Place
Not only are you in the right mental space to handle a second child, you're also physically healthy and have enough strength to raise two kids. Whether it's by natural birth, IVF (in vitro fertilization), surrogacy, or adoption, bringing another munchkin into your family will require lots of energy, so be ready!
Caroline Hernandez on Unsplash
8. You Can't Seem to Throw Away Your Baby Clothes
Unable to let go of your first child's clothes? Maybe you don't have to. If you find yourself genuinely loving the idea of having a second kid and reluctant to throw out old toys, shoes, and cribs, your gut may be telling you what your heart has already decided.
9. You're Confident You're Capable Parenting a Second Kid
Not only do you want to experience those first stages of parenthood all over again (the first words, the first steps, the first laugh), you also know you're capable of handling another kid. Plus, you'll need that confidence—or the kids will end up tiring you out!
10. You Feel Like Your Family Isn't Quite Complete
You love your family as it is now, but sometimes you just know something is missing—like your home isn't quite complete. If this nagging feeling comes up again and again, it might be a clear sign you're ready to welcome a second child into your life.
