Having a child is perhaps the biggest decision of your life. There are no do-overs, parenthood requires endless love and devotion, and it’s no small feat to raise a child. With that in mind, it’s best to know beforehand whether you’re truly up for the task. Here are 10 signs you’re not ready for a baby, and 10 signs that you are.
1. You Aren’t Financially Prepared
Babies aren’t cheap. Neither are toddlers or middle-schoolers or…well, you get the idea. You’ll need substantial funds before the thought of kids even crosses your mind.
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2. You’re Pressured
If you’re trying to appease a parent, “catch up” to your friends, or fulfill societal pressures, you aren’t having kids for the right reasons. Have children because you want them, not because you feel pressured.
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3. A Baby Isn’t a Band-Aid
If your relationship is rocky, a child won’t save the day. It’s an age-old trap that can easily lead to resentment, neglect, and monetary stress (among other things). Only discuss parenthood with your partner if you two are on solid ground.
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4. You’re Not Ready
Thinking about children is all well and good, but are you ready to part with your weekend routine? Do you still have plans to travel, get promoted, or accomplish other life goals? Consider where your life is before you plan to bring a child on board.
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5. You Only See the Good
Parenthood isn’t just macaroni art and playing dress-up; it comes with a lot of stress and hardship you need to prepare for. Everything from illness to discipline to loss of sleep should be on your radar, too.
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6. You’re Already Regretful
If the thought of children brings forth feelings of anxiety or regret, chances are you’re focused on the what-ifs because you aren’t ready. If you’re unsure a baby is what you want, or fear you’ll regret having one, step back and think about what you really want.
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7. You Enjoy Independence
Until they get older, you’re pretty much your child’s entire world. If you can’t see yourself devoting all your time to someone else, and forgoing your freedom in the process, it might not be the best idea to have a baby.
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8. You Lack Patience
Children march to the beat of their own drum, which is a kind way of saying they can have tantrums, cause last-minute plans, have endless questions, and require constant entertainment. If you get fed up easily, kids may not be the best choice.
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9. No Parenting Knowledge
If you haven’t educated yourself about pregnancy, childbirth, parenting strategies, or the everyday demands of parenthood, you’re in for a tough journey. Wanting a child is one thing, but learn more about what it entails before you fully commit to the idea.
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10. Health Concerns
Underlying health issues or lifestyle habits can pose great risks to you and your child. Speak with a doctor to make sure your body is ready for the physical demands of pregnancy and labor.
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Now let’s take a look at a few key signs that you are ready for parenthood.
1. Good Support System
Having a good support system is a vital component of parenthood. Whether it’s with your partner, family, or friends, having people in your life who support your decision and are willing to help is a good first step.
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2. Long-Term Planning
Another important step is thinking about long-term goals for your family. Giving considerable thought to education, daycare, and surprise costs is a good indicator that you’ve covered all bases.
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3. You’re Committed
There’s no going back with parenthood. If you’re prepared to invest the time, money, and energy required for a baby, it’s a big step toward understanding the full-time sacrifice.
4. You’re Educated
A lot of things about parenting will be learned with time. But there are plenty of things it’s good to know beforehand. If you’ve educated yourself on the aspects of parenthood—and you’re still invested in the idea—then you’re on the right track.
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5. Home Readiness
Home preparation isn’t just about baby-proofing your living space. Home readiness means ensuring you’re in an appropriate place to raise a child, which includes factors like the kind of neighborhood you’re in and whether you have enough space.
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6. Flexible Schedule
Ensure you have a flexible work schedule outside of parental leave. If your employer allows remote work or gives leniency for last-minute hiccups, that’s a solid move to securing a flexible schedule.
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7. You Can Accept Change
Your schedule isn’t the only thing that will change, or the only thing you’ll need to accept. Your child will be their own person. If the idea of their autonomy excites you instead of scares you, that’s better than wanting to control everything.
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8. Good Mental Health
There’s no shame in dealing with mental illness, but having one might make it harder to navigate parenthood. If you’re in a good headspace or have a healthy support system in place, it paves a smoother path to having children.
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9. Screening Tests
It’s hard to predict how genetics will affect a child. However, if you and your partner have taken genetic screening tests, it’s a strong indicator you’ve thought about how any health issues on either side can impact your baby—and being prepared is a good idea.
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10. You Like Children
Not just babies—children. Your child is going to grow up faster than you realize, and if you can see yourself just as engaged when they’re teens as you do when they’re toddlers, you’re on the right path to a lifelong commitment.
