The Pre-Wedding Do's & Don'ts
There's lots to do when you're planning the biggest day of your life. To make your wedding (and your relationship) as seamless as possible, there are some things you should consider. From booking a getaway to throwing a "stag and doe", here's what to do and what not to do with your fiancé before the big day:
1. Wedding Plan On Date Nights
You don't want to leave everything last-minute but you shouldn't make every moment you spend together about planning. Schedule times for productive planning sessions but also plan date nights where you escape from your laptops. Too much planning will stress you both out.
2. Combining Your Bachelor Parties
Sometimes couples choose to combine their bachelor or bachelorette parties together because they share the same friend circle. It's healthy for your relationship to socialize without your partner sometimes. You're about to spend the rest of your life together, enjoy the only party that'll ever be thrown for you as a single!
3. Attempting To Mind Read
Even if you're a fortune teller, don't play mind games. Anything you think of about the wedding should be discussed together. If you're assuming your partner's opinions about the wedding, you could end up on different pages.
4. Only Talk About The Wedding
Your wedding is one day and although it's special, there are other priorities in your lives too. Don't only talk about the wedding, you'll annoy others and you'll have no idea what to discuss when the big day is over. Make sure you include other topics in your conversations to keep you sane.
5. Make Everything One-Sided
If you can avoid this problem, you're off to a great start. When one partner feels like they're taking on more responsibilities than the other, tensions will rise and stress will unfold. Try not to leave all the planning to one person and do most things together when you can.
6. Do Everything Together
You're getting married so you know you're in love. You don't have to spend every waking moment together to show affection. "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" so they say. Spend some time in your own company and go out with friends or family without your other half sometimes.
7. Throw A Stag & Doe
A stag and doe is essentially a wedding fundraiser and it's kind of tacky. If you can avoid throwing yourselves this kind of party, your friends and family will probably appreciate it. A shower and all of your cash wedding gifts should be enough!
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8. Avoiding Uncomfortable Conversations
Don't avoid talking about something that could hinder the wedding. If you need to set boundaries with overstepping in-laws or you don't like your partner's idea for wedding favors, don't hold back. It won't become any less uncomfortable the longer you avoid talking about it.
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9. Always Talking About Money
Weddings are ridiculously expensive. You need to vent together about the cost of catering and the overpriced napkins but at some point, it needs to stop. Once you agree on a budget, accept the prices and move on. Always talking about money will just add negative energy and more stress leading up to the wedding.
10. Hiding Secrets
Unless it's about the bride's wedding dress, there shouldn't be any secrets between you two. Even if there's risk of an argument, you should expose the truth before the big day. If the secret comes out after marriage it could cause greater issues with trust. It's best that you both start off your marriage without anything to hide.
Now that you know what to avoid doing with your spouse-to-be, here's what you should do together instead:
1. Go On A Private Getaway Together
It's the calm before the exciting storm–– You should run away together some time before the wedding. You've just spent months planning, organizing, and socializing with others, a little private getaway is some much needed therapy. Book a relaxing weekend where you can escape reality and have some alone time without any interruptions.
2. Take Wedding Planning Breaks
Just like in your work life, taking breaks is beneficial to your productivity and your mental health. It's a good idea to take breaks from wedding planning and do something else together. Leave the house for a day trip, or go on a dinner date. Even an escape to a cafe to refuel during a planning session will go a long way.
3. Plan Your Honeymoon
If you're considering a honeymoon, plan it together prior to the wedding day. You're already in planning mode so might as well add in travel plans. The honeymoon is a fun thing to plan that shouldn't add any stress. If you get the planning out of the way, you'll be set to leave and you can focus on having a good time.
4. Do Relationship Testing Activities
Do you really know you can spend your life together if you haven't tried living in a van? You should make sure you can handle each other at your best and your worst before you jump in for the long haul. Putting your relationship to the test like taking a road trip or building IKEA furniture together will expose how much you can stand each other.
5. Give Relationship Therapy A Try
Your relationship doesn't have to be falling apart to book a therapy session. Couples can often discover strengths and weaknesses about their relationship that they never knew existed. Couples' therapy can enhance your partnership and you'll enter marriage stronger than ever if you do it before the wedding.
6. Talk About Your Wedding Concerns
From guest drama to public speaking anxiety, you and your fiancé should put all of your wedding concerns out in the open. Talking about your worries together will put you both on the same page and you can bounce solutions off of each other. Openly discussing your concerns can act like therapy and it will likely ease your worries knowing you have each other's backs.
7. Create Back Up Plans Together
While you're planning your perfect wedding together, you should also have a plan b. You should plan for the worst and your expectations will be exceeded. Weather is the usual concern so discussing a back up plan for your outdoor ceremony isn't a bad idea. No matter what happens, you're in it together!
8. Discuss Your Dreams
It's just as important to discuss your dreams as it is to talk about your wedding nightmares. Spend some time before the big day to not only discuss your dream wedding, but also about your dream marriage. You'll both benefit knowing what a marriage means to your partner and find out if it fits in your picture.
9. Book A Private Taste Test
Menu tasting before the wedding day is wise advice. It's even wiser to do it together without others. Inviting family to a tasting will just bring opinions you might not want to hear. It's your day and the food you serve is up to you!
10. Split Up The Tasks
Before diving deep into wedding planning you should discuss the giant to-do list together. Splitting up tasks will lighten the load and one person won't end up doing all the hard work. Assign tasks based on skills and personality and only focus on your own list once it's divided.
