Little Lies For Little Ears
We're told lying is bad but sometimes it's necessary to protect your kid or to save you from arguing with your toddler. A little white lie won't hurt as long as it's for a beneficial purpose. From absurd food myths to the tooth fairy's cleanliness, here's a list of funny fibs many parents tell.
1. Eating Bread Crusts Will Make Your Hair Curly
For generations, this old tale is a timeless one passed on from one lying parent to another. Curly hair must be admirable because we keep telling picky eaters this so they'll finish their sandwiches. How do we know most of the nutrients are in the crust anyway?
2. Carrots Will Let You See In The Dark
This will encourage many curious kids to eat their carrots and sometimes you need a fun fib to keep their diet in check. At some point, they may get suspicious after their nighttime vision remains dark, but you can come up with another lie by then.
3. I Didn’t Bring Any Money With Me Today
Shopping with children isn't always easy. They don't understand that you can't buy everything you see. The easiest solution to get out of an unwanted purchase is to tell them you don't have any money on you. (Just don't let them see you buy anything else.)
4. If You Watch Too Much TV Your Eyes Will Go Square
It's silly but it just might work. Youngsters are often glued to their screens so it's essential to have a good reason why they need to take a break. Telling them their eyes will turn square may be the fright they need to get them outside.
5. When The Ice Cream Truck Plays That Song It’s Out Of Ice Cream
If you can get away with this lie, you deserve a hot fudge sundae. Until your kid's old enough to discover marketing, it'll make sense that a business wants everyone to know they've run out of their product.
6. Your Nose Will Grow If You Lie
Thanks to Pinnochio, this old wive's tale works wonders. Most kids are scared to get caught in a lie and they sure don't want their nose to call them out.
7. If You Swallow Gum It Will Stay In Your Stomach For 7 Years
Many of us believed this to be true even into adulthood. Although biology can bust this fact, it's still not recommended to swallow your gum for other tummy issues. Might as well keep this false fact alive if it keeps the kids from eating their bubble gum.
8. If You Cross Your Eyes They’ll Stay That Way
Attempting to get a nice family photo for the holidays but your goofball won't behave? Maybe they'll stop making silly faces if they find out it'll freeze that way. If they don't believe you, this lie will cause a giggle fit and that'll put a smile on their face!
9. Parents Have Eyes On The Back Of Our Heads
They can't get up to no good when Mom is always watching! If you don't want your kids sneaking around, try the old eyes-on-the-back-of-your-head trick. You can convince them these eyes are invisible but laser-sharp.
10. If You Eat The Seeds A Tree Will Grow In Your Tummy
Sometimes you need an outrageous myth to prevent the kids from bellyaches. We've all heard this one before and it's stopped us from eating the apple seeds and the orange pips.
11. The Tooth Fairy Only Comes If Your Room Is Clean
Of course the tooth fairy needs the room to be neat and tidy or she can't reach the pillow. It's not considered a bribe to clean their room if it's the fairy giving your kid the money for their tooth.
12. Santa Claus Is Watching You Right Now
This white lie is particularly best during the holidays but you could try it any season. When the kids are misbehaving they'll smarten up if they think Santa will find out. Better to let them know Santa has started his naughty and nice list early.
13. If You Don’t Brush Your Teeth They’ll Fall Out
Kids are notorious for making a fuss about brushing their teeth. Some tricksters run their brush under the tap to fool their parents that they've brushed. Fool them back with the threat of a toothless grin and they'll reach for the toothpaste!
14. They Don’t Sell Replacement Batteries For That Toy
Sometimes you don't want to hear "Old McDonald Had A Farm" fifteen times in a row. When you know every phrase the doll says off by heart, it's time for her to "take a nap". Once the batteries go missing or stop working, it's ok to let your child know the store doesn't have replacements.
15. Potatoes Will Grow In Your Ears If You Don't Clean Them
Yuck. Who wants potatoes growing out of their dirty ears? Exciting kids about a hygiene routine isn't easy but if you want them to scrub from head to toe, you might need a little white lie about spuds.
16. It's Spicy, You Won't Like It
Don't feel like sharing for once? The ultimate way to have your food all to yourself is to scare your little piggies with spice. If they think you're eating something with a taste they don't like or that will hurt their tongue they won't want any bites.
17. If You Don't Finish Your Rice Your Future Spouse Will Have A Pimply Face
This preposterous lie stems from a Chinese superstition about rice. Many grew up with the belief that it's very important to finish every grain in your bowl. Acne is just a part of life but since it's often given a bad rep, this must've made children scrape their bowls clean.
18. If You Pee In The Pool The Water Will Change Color
How embarrassing! Imagine the water actually changed color? This lie has saved many pools from becoming swimmable toilets. (We may need to refer this one to the adults at the swim-up bars too.)
19. Oh No, It's Closed Today
Simple and effective. Do you want to get out of going somewhere fast without taking responsibility? Blame it on the business. It's out of your control that they just happen to be closed today, we'll go another time.
20. We're Almost There
Whether you're 5 minutes or 5 hours away, "we're almost there" is a phrase parents tell their kids all the time to keep them from moaning. Family road trips can be a little bumpy–– you can help smooth the ride with a little lie of ease.
