20 Subtle Ways to Steer The Conversation Away From Controversial Topics At Family Gatherings
20 Subtle Ways to Steer The Conversation Away From Controversial Topics At Family Gatherings
We All Have That One Problematic Family Member
With Thanksgiving right around the corner, you may be worried about the conversation at the table turning sour. We've all been uncomfortably at the center of a heated discussion, not knowing what to do to cool the air. Luckily, there are some strategies you can use to steer the conversation towards safer waters before it explodes. Here are 20 subtle ways to avoid controversy at family gatherings.
1. Make A Joke
Humor is a great way to lighten the mood and turn the conversation away immediately. Try making a self-deprecating comment as opposed to making fun of someone else.
2. Turn The Tone Lighthearted
If someone has brought up a heavy topic, try to downplay it by discussing it in a lighthearted tone. Making it seem like not a big deal will take the fuel out of the fire and then you can effectively change the topic.
3. Play Dumb
If the heated discussion is about something related to you, you can pretend like you don't remember or don't know what the person is talking about. It's also a good way to express your disinterest in the topic at hand.
4. Be Upfront
Just be upfront and tell the person or people engaging in this uncomfortable line of discussion that you don't think it should be discussed. You can simply say "Let's not talk about that."
5. Redirect The Conversation
If you sense the conversation going down a negative path, you can try to change the topic. However, this might not work if they're already getting into it.
6. Pose An Unrelated Question
You can steer the conversation away from controversy by posing a question to the table. Think of something that everyone would be interested in answering. This usually does the trick in diverting people's attention.
7. Feign An Injury
Desperate times call for desperate measures. If you're very worried about the way the conversation is shaping up, pretend to stub your toe or burn yourself on something loudly to quickly grab everyone's full attention.
8. Strategize With Someone Else At The Table
Say you and your sibling both know that your uncle is problematic. Make a plan together beforehand for how to deal with it. It might be a carefully choreographed stunt aimed at distracting the table or a rehearsed conversation that works every time.
9. Drown Them Out With Music
If you play an instrument, now would be a good time to serenade the table. Otherwise, get some tunes playing on the sound system and turn it right up. Maybe even start dancing.
10. Loudly Make A Toast
Nothing makes a room quiet quite like the clinking of silverware against a glass, the universal sign that a toast is coming. Stand up, clink that glass, and make a speech about how grateful you are for everyone at the table. Once you sit down, there's no way that conversation will still be going.
11. Do A Trick
Do you have any special party tricks up your sleeve? If you don't, maybe you should learn one just in case. It's a great way to break the ice and pull everyone's attention away from that unpleasant discussion.
12. Tell A Story
Save a good story for this moment just in case. When grabbing everyone's attention simply hit your hand against your forehead and say "I forgot to tell you guys..." It's bound to work, even if the story isn't that interesting.
13. Start Handing Something Out
What are party favors for if not turning everyone's attention away from that problematic family member? Plan a special little surprise and take this moment to gift them around the table.
14. Bring Out A Board Game
Bring out a board game and ask the table if they want to play. Alternatively, just start rapid-fire twenty questions or "Would you rather?" Although it might come off as a little random, it's sure to turn attention to something more pleasant.
15. Suggest A Movie
Again at the risk of seeming a bit random, you can enthusiastically suggest a movie to the table. Watching something together is a great way to ensure no one is talking, thus no one is treading into dangerous waters.
16. Compliment Someone's Outfit
Turn the discussion away from the topic at hand by enthusiastically and loudly complimenting someone's outfit. Even better if you say it to the person instigating the uncomfortable topic. It will likely flatter them and confuse them.
17. Offer Refreshments Or Food
Asking "Do you guys want to try this really neat cocktail I just discovered?" or something similar is a wonderful tactic for distracting everyone and completely changing the atmosphere. Plus, it's a great excuse to share some fun new flavors with the table.
18. Use Body Language
Problematic family members may not have the emotional intelligence to read subtle cues. However, sometimes it's enough to show your discomfort using your body language like making an expression or shifting in your chair.
19. Spill Something
If all else fails, spill a glass of water. Better yet, spill it on or near the person instigating the conversation. It's sure to buy some silence.
20. Laugh Uncomfortably
If your body language cues didn't work, laughing uncomfortably is a good alternative. It's a more obvious way of indicating that this is not a nice conversation for you.
