It'll Change Your Life
Everyone knows all the pain, exhaustion, and hormones mothers have to endure, but fatherhood isn't a walk in the park either. What fathers go through isn't as recognized or talked about despite more men taking increasingly active roles in raising their children. Let's put dad in the spotlight for a minute with these 20 things no one tells you about fatherhood.
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1. Dads Also Get Post-Partum Depression
Post-partum depression in new mothers is a well-known phenomenon, but fathers are also susceptible to it. It could be brought on by several factors including lack of sleep, added financial stress, or receiving less attention from their partner.
2. Dads Also Have Maternal "Love" Hormones
Oxytocin, nicknamed "the love hormone" is released to the mother during childbirth to create a bond between mother and baby. It was recently discovered, however, that fathers get it too.
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3. Dads Have A Gender Bias
A dad's behavior towards his child is different whether it's a boy or a girl and, no, it's not because he's sexist. It's usually an unconsious brain responses. For example, with daughters they tend to sing more and with sons they'll engage in rougher play.
4. Dads With Lower Testosterone Are More Hands-on
One study found a link between lower testosterone levels in men and hands-on parenting. However, the question remains if fathers with lower testosterone levels are naturally more hands-on or if becoming that type of a dad drives down testosterone.
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5. Fatherhood Changes Your Relationship With Your Spouse
For good and bad, your relationship with your spouse after you have a child will be forever changed. Many fathers feel a stronger bond with their partners while others feel the opposite, but one thing is certain: you will have to work harder for the fire in your relationship to persist after becoming parents.
6. It's A Lot Of Work
No matter what you've done in your life and how much you've strived, fatherhood will knock everything else out of the park when it comes to hard work. Your every waking moment will be spent caring for your kid one way or another.
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7. It Makes You More Empathetic
For fathers as well as mothers, the parts of the brain responsible for empathy and emotional responses are more active after becoming a parent. This is especially true for fathers who are more hands-on parents.
8. You'll Constantly Question Yourself
You could be the most confident man in the room but when you become a father, that all flies out the window. You'll be questioning yourself on everything, unsure if you're making the right move. It's normal but the key is to trust yourself.
9. You Won't Recognize Your Spouse Sometimes
Parenting is full of stress, sleepless nights, and exhaustion. There will be days you won't recognize the over-worked and over-tired person you committed to, especially if she's a woman experiencing all kinds of new, explosive hormones. Have faith that it won't be like this forever.
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10. You'll Make Mistakes
Everyone makes mistakes as a new parent, we're talking daily. You don't need to be perfect, after all you're learning. Let every moment be a lesson in humility.
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11. You'll Learn Your Strengths and Weaknesses
As a father, you'll learn more about yourself than you expected. It'll bring out strengths and weaknesses you didn't know you had.
12. You Will Have New Priorities
Many new fathers are scared of losing their old bachelor lives. While it may be fun to reminisce on those times, trust us when we say you won't miss it. You will have completely new priorities and feel more whole than ever.
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13. You'll Do A Lot More Housework
Kids are messy and you'll have to get used to cleaning up after them a lot. Your spouse is going to be exhausted and when more of the biologically maternal duties are shoved onto her, you'll be the one doing the bulk of the houswork.
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14. It Goes By So Fast
Bedtime stories, playing ball, first words, first steps... it all goes by in the blink of an eye. Cherish each and every little moment because the next thing you know, they'll be headed off to college.
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15. You'll Be Worried Constantly
Parents all have something called "the worry gene." Even if you're the coolest, calmest, and most collected guy on the planet, you'll get it too.
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16. You're Your Child's Role Model
At least up to a certain age, you'll be regarded as some kind of superhero in your child's eyes. It'll make you want to be the best possible version of yourself.
17. You'll Spend More Time With Your Child Than Your Father Did
Nowadays, fathers are spending more time with their kids than ever. Since 1965, the number of hours dads spend with their kids has more than tripled and since 1989, the amount of stay-at-home dads in the US has doubled so don't expect the way you raise your kids to resemble how your father raised you.
18. It Will Wear You Out
Just like you might not recognize your spouse after having kids, you won't recognize yourself either. You'll be completely worn out like never before giving your complete self to this thing called fatherhood.
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19. You Will Love Like Never Before
When you have a baby, suddenly there's a being you care about more than you care about yourself or anyone else. It's another level of unconditional love you've never felt before.
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20. You're Never Fully Ready For It
If you have the feeling you're not ready for it, don't worry, you never really will be. Each stage and phase of fatherhood is new, exciting, and scary. Get ready to feel slightly on edge all the time.
