Through Good And Bad, Sickness And Health...
Everyone knows what marriage is, but there are a lot of things you don't know about it until you're married. It's a lifelong bond inevitably full of nuances and evolution. It can be the happiest thing in your life one moment and the greatest cause of your frustrations the next. Here are 20 things about married life no one talks about.
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1. Your Intimacy Will Go Through Phases
Many people freak out if their intimacy declines after marriage. Different things like work life, having kids, or social obligations can effect this; just remember, you're together for life now so it's normal if things aren't constantly fiery.
2. Shared Silence Becomes the Norm
Many people find when they're dating their partner, they're always talking over text, calls, or social media. This will slow down after marriage, and that's okay! You're living together and seeing each other constantly so it's actually quite normal and healthy to just share silence.
3. It Doesn't Make You A Different Person
If you were expecting marriage to solve your relationship problems, think again. Tying the knot is not immediately going to change you or your partner. Years of commitment will evolve your love, but the act of marriage will not.
4. You Can't Be Selfish
When you're married you'll find yourself thinking differently, always considering the other person in everything you do. Any ounce of selfishness you previously possessed will likely fly out the window and if it doesn't, you're sure to have some problems.
5. A Healthy Marriage Requires Daily Action
Just because you're married doesn't mean you can slack off. You have to constantly show your partner your love through daily gestures and actions, even when you don't feel like it.
6. You Are Both Going To Change
Marriage is a long-term commitment so naturally, you and your partner will grow and change. Life will throw you curve balls and challenges, your ambitions and interests will morph and so will your partner's.
7. Marriage Doesn't Guarantee Forever
Although the vows say "until death," assuming that's the case might actually breed laziness. Remember that you still have to put in the work and be adaptive.
8. Conflicts Are Inevitable
Not only will you definitely have fights with your partner from time to time, but it's actually perfectly healthy to do so. You can expect to get very good at conflict resolution.
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9. Marriage Doesn't Complete You
The term "other half" is synonymous with marriage, but you shouldn't expect it to complete you. You should already be a complete person if you're thinking of marriage.
10. It's Harder To Get Divorced Than To Get Married
The act of marrying someone is the easy part. Before embarking on that path, make sure you're really serious about such a commitment because divorcing someone is a lot more of a headache both financially and emotionally.
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11. You Will Not Always Feel Attracted To Your Partner
You might be used to having a fiery connection and looking at your partner with swoon-y eyes. This might not always be the case after you're married and that's quite normal as long as you find ways to stoke the fire from time to time.
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12. Finances Can Be Tricky
Money is never a sexy topic, but in marriage getting used to discussing finances early will help clarify each of your comfort zones. This is important as money issues can quickly create strain and resentment in a relationship.
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13. You're Also Marrying Your Partner's Family
Family is a big part of marriage. Remember that in addition to marrying your partner, you're marrying all the people close to them too. If you don't get along, it can cause problems so make sure to devote your efforts to connecting with them.
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14. You Don't Have To Feel Love To Give It
There will be times when you don't necessarily feel a lot of love from your partner because they're distracted by a stressful project at work, for example. Don't let that stop you from showing your love and being a giving partner: it might even make their day and take their attention back to what's important.
15. You'll Have To Get Used To Compromise
Fighting is inevitable in any long-term relationship. You are two different people that won't always see things eye to eye; therefore, you'll have to get used to compromise and sometimes accept a loss.
16. Life With Young Kids Is Stressful
Married couples often decide to have kids. If you go this path, you'll experience periods of stress that might put strain on your relationship. Remember it's a temporary state that most new parents go through.
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17. You Won't Always Speak The Same Language
You both come from different families and different backgrounds. Therefore, you'll have different expectations and sometimes it might even feel like you're speaking different languages. The key is good communication.
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18. You'll Have To Check In With Yourself
When you're married, self reflection is more important than ever. If you're in tune with yourself then you're less likely to let your feelings bubble and boil over onto your partner, saving yourselves from unnecessary drama.
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19. Your Love Will Evolve Beyond The "Honeymoon Phase"
Don't expect your love to look the same as it does after the first few months of dating. It will change to be less fiery but deeper and more meaningful.
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20. You'll Fall In Love Over And Over
In any long-term relationship, it's normal to have periods when you feel your love isn't as strong. However, one vacation to Mexico or an intimate date night and you'll find yourself falling in love all over again sometimes with a different version of your partner.
