Dating, unfortunately, comes with plenty of arbitrary rules that can sully the whole experience. Who pays for the first date? When do we sleep together? How long before I text again? We’re nipping the madness in the bud because like all rules in life, some are sacred and some are meant to be broken.
1. Keep Pictures Private
There’s nothing wrong with sending raunchy photos with a partner—what’s wrong is when they’re shared. Private photos or videos are meant for a partner’s eyes only and sharing them is not only a crime, but it’s also juvenile and disrespectful.
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2. Maintain Financial Independence
There seems to be this outdated, unspoken rule that partners, especially women, shouldn’t maintain financial independence in a relationship. Well, we’d like to vouch for the flip side of the coin: partners should squirrel away money if they have the means, all without ridicule.
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3. Stop Changing Yourself
The temptation is often there, but don’t change who you are. It’s not your job to appease others and relationships of any kind shouldn’t come at the cost of a personality. Whether it be friends or a romantic partner, the right people accept you for who you are.
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4. Don’t Settle
Settling is harmful to both parties. It may suck to be alone but don’t just latch onto the first person you see; neither of you will truly be happy and you both deserve someone you actually want (or who wants to be with you).
5. Stop Ghosting People
In today’s day and age, breakups are seemingly a thing of the past—the fashionable move is to simply ghost someone. We’d like to advocate for the good ol’ days. Ghosting is the safer option in some circumstances, but most can (and should) be handled more respectfully.
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6. Communicate Effectively
Communication is a cornerstone of healthy relationships. Even if you haven’t dated very long, proper and honest communication ensures you don’t get into arguments or misunderstandings.
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7. Support Each Other
Life is full of good news and we’d all like our partners to share in that joy. Support comes in all shapes and sizes, but however you choose to show it, just be sure that you do.
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8. Be Faithful
This should be a no-brainer, but plenty of people pick at the buffet when their plates are full. In other words, infidelity is unfortunately alive and well in even the happiest (seeming) relationships. Don’t be that person.
9. Prioritize Quality Time
New relationships often go down one of two paths: spend all your time together or barely spend any time together. While it’s important to maintain independence, it’s just as important to make time for someone new.
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10. Honest Intentions
If you’re looking for a one-night stand, be upfront about it. If you want a long-term relationship, tell them. The more honest you are, the better your odds of finding someone who wants the same thing.
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Now that we’ve covered some rules you should never break, let’s dive into which ones you can snap in half.
1. Men Should Approach First
For a long time, a cardinal rule of dating was that men courted women…which meant we all just kind of sat around and hoped someone made a move. No more! In today’s world, shoot your shot and don’t worry about “how it looks”. It looks like initiative to us.
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2. No Sleeping Together
Hopping in bed on the first date was taboo for a long time—and still is for some people—but it’s not a big deal. So long as both partners consent, bumping uglies on the first date is not only acceptable but fun, too.
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3. Talking Every Day
Nothing against the couples who speak every day, so long as it’s natural. Some couples, on the other hand, force themselves to speak every day. It’s okay to go a day without speaking to someone, especially if you just started dating.
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4. No Alone Time
It’s all we can do to pull away from a new partner, however, it’s important that you make time for yourself, too. New relationships, no matter how exciting, shouldn’t mean sacrificing what you love.
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5. Avoiding Certain Foods
Eat what you want on dates! If your date can’t handle you slurping a plate of spaghetti or ripping into a basket of chicken wings, they weren’t the one for you anyway.
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6. Don’t Talk About Serious Stuff
It’s only natural to feel insecure about baggage, but the truth is that your baggage is a part of you. A relationship will never thrive if you’re too scared to talk about your feelings or fears—and it’s not like your partner won’t have any of their own.
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7. Wait to Reach Out
When did we decide it was okay to not text the person we like? Since when it is “needy” to thank someone for a nice time or ask when they’re free? We don’t know, but we do know that you shouldn’t wait to reach out.
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8. Worrying About Who Pays
Let’s be honest, it really doesn’t matter who pays. More important than fighting for the check is deciding where to go! For example, if you’re on a tight budget, opt for a picnic in the park over a fancy four-star restaurant.
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9. Refusal to Mention Exes
There’s a big difference between acknowledging an ex and talking about them non-stop—but people still conflate the two. Openly discussing an ex isn’t the problem we once thought, and in fact, hiding information about them is more cagey than just being honest.
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10. Playing Hard to Get
Believe it or not, playing hard to get often chases people away. Who would’ve thought that showing no interest whatsoever confused the poor other person? But seriously…if you’re interested in someone, tell them.
