Separation Anxiety
It’s no secret that divorce is on the rise, with many marriages being torn apart every day. For many couples, the end may be creeping closer and closer. But before throwing it all away or taking that leap, here are 20 points you should strongly consider when ending a marriage.
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1. Trust is Broken
You’ve probably heard that saying, that when you break a mug you glue it back together, but the cracks always remain. Trust works the same way. Even if you can forgive and forget, there will always be a part of you that doubts. If you don’t trust your partner anymore, then staying with them will only cause both of you more pain.
2. It Got Physical
While many things can be chalked up to the heat of the moment, there is a fine line that can never be crossed. No matter your partner's gender, putting hands on one another is unacceptable. There’s no room for negotiation if you’ve gotten past this point.
3. You Crave Distance
Do you find yourself happy in their absence? In a loving relationship, you should be counting the seconds until your partner comes home. But if you find yourself in the opposite situation, wishing to be far from them, then it’s time to let it go.
4. Infidelity
For many people, infidelity is a non-negotiable dealbreaker. Even if you can push yourself to forgive the discrepancy, a part of you will always remain broken. Remember, they ended the relationship when they stepped out.
5. Constant Conflict
It’s completely normal for couples to fight, especially in times of stress or early on when you are still getting to know each other. However, if every day is a constant battle, and the bad times outweigh the good times, then it’s time to reconsider what you’re fighting for.
6. You’ve Stopped Talking
Communication is key in every relationship, which is why its absence can be felt. If your partner has suddenly shut down and has cut you out, then they’ve already made their choice.
7. Temporary Fix
Have you ever been in this situation? You complain about an issue, they apologize and promise to fix it. For two days, they take care of the issue, but then suddenly they return to their old ways. You have the argument again, they make promises again, but they never seem to keep them.
8. Lack of Effort
If your partner has stopped trying to fight for your relationship, then there is very little you can do. It takes commitment from both sides to make love work, which is why the fighting is futile if you’re the only one trying.
9. Substance Use
A relationship is complicated enough without the involvement of substances. This could be an issue with drinking or gambling, or even something like an addiction to video games or night clubbing. Either way, if they can’t maintain healthy boundaries and you find yourself fighting for second place in their heart, then you’re better off alone.
10. It’s Better Without Them
In the deepest crevices of your soul, you already know where this relationship is headed. But if you need proof, simply look around yourself. Is the house cleaner without them? Is your workload easier in their absence? Would your bills make more sense absent of their spending? If you can picture a life without your partner, and it’s better than your current life, then it’s time to let the relationship go.
Now that we have discussed valid reasons to let the love go, here are 10 signs that you should actually keep fighting for your relationship.
1. Mutual Respect
Despite what people tell you about love, respect is actually the backbone of a healthy relationship. Even at the worst of times, if the two of you remain cordial and kind to one another, then there is plenty of hope for your relationship.
2. Family Stability
Many people avoid divorce for the sake of their children, and while a dysfunctional relationship can also hinder your kids, it’s worth considering family stability. If it makes more sense for the two of you to stay together, whether that means splitting bills or childcare, then give it your best shot before giving up.
3. Shared Memories
The human experience is a collection of memories, and we often share the best ones with the people we love. Perhaps the two of you are the only ones who truly love your dog. Or maybe you had a crazy camping adventure that nobody else seems to understand. These shared memories are exclusive to your love.
4. Emotional Intimacy
When something crazy happens at work, who’s the first person you want to talk to? If it’s your partner, if they’re the one you turn to for every little thing, then there is still love between the two of you. Sometimes the emotional connection is the most important one of all.
5. Willingness to Improve
If both parties are willing to fight for their relationship, whether that means making sweeping changes, learning to forgive, or pursuing counseling, then there’s a lot of hope left. The willingness to work for it is a major step in the right direction.
6. Shared Dreams
It is easy for people to stay together when they share a dream. This could be the desire for a family or the pursuit of a house. If the two of you have been working toward shared goals, then you can use that common ground to get you over the hurdles.
7. You Miss Them
If you find yourself missing them whenever they’re gone, then you still love them. Of course, this love isn’t always reliable, as it’s common to miss people even if they’re toxic or abusive. So give yourself a second to validate your feelings.
8. You Can Forgive
There are many acts that are considered relationship dealbreakers in society, but your relationship is solely your own. That means if you can forgive a terrible action, then you can continue to pursue your relationship. The only person you need to convince is yourself.
9. Positive Influence
If the emotional stuff just confuses you, then look at your relationship through a logical lens. Break down your partner’s impact in terms of pros and cons. If their influence over your life is majorly positive, then you’d be foolish to let them go.
10. Committed to the Vow
At the end of the day, marriage used to mean something. It was a vow not meant to be taken lightly. In today’s fast and modern world, it’s all too easy to move on to the next person and bury your feelings. True love is rare, and making a marriage work is even rarer. This is why if you have the chance to save your relationship, you might want to take it.
