Are You A People-Pleaser Or Your Own Person?
We're probably all guilty of letting society shape us into something we're not; after all, it's normal to want to fit in. But we all have our own unique traits, thoughts, and feelings, so it's important to stay true to ourselves. With that said, here are 10 signs you're too attuned to what others think, and 10 signs you're happy being yourself.
1. Take Things To Heart
When you're constantly tuned to what the outside world has to say, you tend to take everything to heart. One small comment, good or bad, could be something you think about for the rest of the day and late into the night.
2. No Boundaries
There's a difference between being kind and knowing when to draw the line. If you find it difficult to say no to any request or you're always bending backward to cater to others’ needs, that's people-pleasing.
3. Follow Every Critique (Even If They're Just Plain Mean)
Constructive criticism is one thing, but a demeaning remark is definitely another. You might think you'll know to stand up for yourself in these situations, but they could happen anywhere and be said by anyone—maybe even by a person you feel you can't talk back to.
4. Perfectionism Traits
It's okay to want to be perfect. But striving for perfectionism in everything you do, especially when you're doing it for others, can damage your confidence. Remember that nothing is perfect and mistakes are inevitable sometimes—they only help you grow and improve.
5. Always Apologizing
Unless you're Canadian, if you find yourself apologizing for everything you do, it might be another sign you're not comfortable in your own bones. Sure, there are cases where saying sorry is necessary, but it shouldn't be all the time.
6. Constantly Reinventing Yourself
Are you always switching styles or changing your tastes just because someone made a comment? While it's fine to follow trends or try something new, don't let opinions from others change the things you enjoy.
7. Indecisive
While it's hard to make decisions sometimes, asking other people to make them for you not only burdens them, but it makes you doubt your decision-making skills too. Unless it's a serious situation or a tricky choice to make, trust your gut!
8. No Backbone
Similar to how you might take every mean critique without fighting back, you might also not know how to defend your own beliefs or challenge someone. It could even be as simple as staying quiet after the waiter got your order wrong.
9. Overthink Everything
Are you still thinking about what someone said to you? Or how you worded a reply? Even if it's embarrassing (like saying "you too" after the ticketer tells you to enjoy your movie), don't lose sleep over it. Everyone else is probably too busy thinking about themselves to care about a stumble you made.
10. Put Others First
Again, if you're constantly a pushover or a doormat for other people, this is a glaring sign you care too much about what others think. Selfishness doesn't look good on anyone, and if you think something is unfair, voice it!
Now that you're aware of the 10 signs you care too much, read on for the 10 ways you know you're happy in your own skin.
1. Knowing When To Say No
As opposed to people-pleasing, a sign you're your own person is when you're comfortable telling others no. You understand when something or someone is overstepping your boundaries, and you aren't afraid of calling that out.
2. Recognize Toxicity
Whether from personal experience or hyperawareness, you're good at calling people out. You've cut toxic exes, friends, and can sniff out a bad egg or a dysfunctional relationship when you see one. Time to take out the trash!
3. Standing Up For Yourself
You're the first to counter back when someone makes a disrespectful comment about you. Even if it's in a situation where you think you can't talk back—to a coworker, customer, or your boss—don't let others walk over you.
4. Speak Your Mind
If you have an idea or an opinion about something, you don't hesitate saying it aloud. Of course, you shouldn't put your nose into everyone's business and give your two cents about a conversation you're not a part of, but if you're asked what you think, you tell it like it is.
5. Take Initiative
Being a leader can be challenging—but not if you're confident being in control. Whether it's hosting team meetings or drawing up game plans, stepping up and guiding others are what you're good at.
6. Not Afraid Of Embarrassing Yourself
Maybe you stuttered during a spiel or tripped in front of everybody, but either way, you're not ruminating over it. Was it embarrassing in the moment? Sure. But it already happened and it's in the past now, so who cares?
7. Wear What You Want
While you might already have your own style, you're not afraid of rocking a new trend or an unconventional shirt if you want to. Other people might give you the odd eye or two, but let them look—you're comfortable showcasing your personality through your clothes.
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8. Don't Overanalyze
There could be a million reasons why someone said or did something, and you know you have two options if you're ever confused: ask them or leave it be. You don't let those what-ifs plague your mind at the end of the day, because at that point, it probably doesn't matter anymore.
9. Go-Getter
You like setting goals and doing your best to achieve them. You're also not afraid of admitting your weaknesses or places you need to improve; instead, you work to overcome those obstacles. After all, nothing gets done standing still.
10. Put Yourself First
This doesn't mean you're selfish and only think of yourself—rather, it means you're in tune with your own values and needs. You care about others too and you keep them in mind, but you're not there to satisfy them.
