Love and obsession are two very different things. While it can be hard to differentiate at first, over time, you may start to feel frustrated if your partner grows to become overly clingy and dependent on you. If they start obsessing over being with you all the time, even becoming jealous of your other relationships, it's time to take action. Your relationship isn't going anywhere until this behaviour is fixed! To give you a better idea of what to look out for, here are 10 signs your partner is too clingy and 10 helpful tips to set boundaries.
1. Constant Communication
Is your partner texting, calling, and tagging you in posts every second of every minute of the day? Okay, maybe that's an exaggeration, but you know what we mean! You might see it as affection at first, but the truth is, overly clingy partners rely on constant communication to feel close to you. It starts becoming a bigger problem when they get anxious or upset if you don't respond just as quickly.
2. Excessive Need for Reassurance
No matter how many times you tell your partner you love them, it never seems like it's enough. Clingy partners deep down are quite insecure. They constantly need your reassurance and want confirmation about your feelings towards them. When done excessively, it can start to feel overwhelming and even frustrating.
3. Always Wanting to Be Together
Just because you're in a serious relationship doesn't mean you need to spend every waking moment with your partner. Personal space is good! It gives you time to relax and take care of your own things. If your partner insists on being with you 24/7, something's wrong. They shouldn't need to be around you all the time to be happy.
4. Overreacting to Small Issues
It's inevitable that you and your partner will face disagreements that can lead to fights. It's normal to experience conflict in a relationship after all. But what's not normal is if your partner starts overreacting to little issues that don't matter that much. Partners who rely too much on you often let their insecurities or fears bubble up during arguments, causing them to flip out over the smallest of problems.
5. Intrusive Behavior
It's important to know that it's unhealthy for your partner to feel the constant need to check your phone, social media, and emails. It simply means they don't trust you! They may play it off as if they're curious, but it's much deeper than that. They're genuinely scared you're doing something behind their back.
6. Dependence on Your Approval
Being clingy is about more than just physical behaviour; clingy partners will always feel the need to get your approval and validation. It's as if they need you to be satisfied before they can feel satisfied themselves. This insecurity can be a lot more damaging on your relationship than you might think.
7. Jealousy of Your Other Relationships
Even if you repeatedly assure your partner that you love them and that you'd never cheat, all of your other relationships (friends, family, coworkers, neighbours, etc.) are at the mercy of your clingy partner. They're likely to be jealous of everyone else you interact with, with more extreme individuals even trying to limit your interactions with other people.
8. Guilt-Tripping
If your partner has told you phrases like, "I don't know what I'd do without you" or "I'm not happy without you by my side," there's a chance they might be guilt-tripping you to be okay about their clinginess. It might sound romantic at first, but carefully think about the wording. You shouldn't be the sole person responsible for their happiness.
9. Quick Escalation of the Relationship
No couple should be talking about serious topics like marriage before getting to know one another first. You need to establish you're a good fit together before even bringing these kinds of things up! So if your partner tried to push for moving in together or getting married really early on, take it as a red flag. You should never feel rushed, especially regarding these serious matters.
10. Overwhelming Displays of Affection
Of course, while we've mostly covered emotional and behavioural forms of clinginess, we can't forget about the physical aspect too. It's common for these types of partners to display extreme forms of affection, even in public places where it's uncomfortable. These actions are honestly done more for themselves than for you.
1. Discuss Personal Space Needs
Step one to creating a healthier relationship environment with your clingy partner is to have an open conversation about personal space. Be clear and don't hold back. They need to know your true feelings and what your expectations are.
2. Set Limits on Communication
If your partner struggles particularly with constant communication, try setting some ground rules to improve their behaviour. Try setting up specific times for phone calls and make sure they understand your response time to messages doesn't equal how much you love them.
3. Plan Separate Activities
This may be tough at first, but you should try to encourage your partner to pursue their own interests. Not everything needs to be done together, and it's crucial that you express that. If they start developing their own hobbies, it'll definitely reduce their overall clinginess.
4. Define Social Boundaries
Another important rule to set is coming to an agreement about spending time with friends and family separately. Sometimes, you just want to hang out with your friends like the good ol' days! There's nothing wrong with that and your partner should know that too. Besides, helping your clingy partner have a social life outside of your relationship together will be really beneficial for them.
5. Establish Privacy Boundaries
It's hard not to lose trust in your partner if you catch them peeking on your phone without asking first. It makes it clear that they're trying to see the bad in you. That's why it's of the utmost importance that you and your partner establish privacy boundaries. It can be as simple as making checking each other's phones off-limits. Make sure you emphasize just how serious it is.
6. Set Physical Boundaries
For most people, excessive PDA isn't something they're really comfortable with. If this is true for you, don't be shy and let your partner know. A strong relationship should be a comfortable one too, so it's on you to let your partner know if they do things you don't like.
7. Create Alone Time Routines
A great way to reduce your partner's clinginess is to set routine alone times throughout the week. Not only will it be relaxing for you, it'll help teach your partner the beneficial side of solo activities. Though it may be slow, it'll definitely help them foster a sense of independence over time.
8. Balance Relationship Progression
It never hurts to set goals. Allowing you and your partner to feel motivated and to stay on track, creating a relationship progression model will help you guys celebrate the little wins. Set little milestones together that you both want to reach, making it feel like a team project.
9. Manage Expectations
Sometimes, all your clingy partner really needs to know is how much time you can realistically spend together. Being open and setting realistic expectations can be the little bit of information that they needed all along. Discuss what works best for both of you so that it's more of a conversation rather than an intervention. Even though you're trying to change their behaviour, it's important you take their thoughts into account too.
10. Encourage Open Dialogue
At the end of the day, positive changes in relationships can only happen if there's a safe environment present. That means being open with one another, being respectful and understanding, and compromising. You should both be able to express your thoughts and feelings without judgment. Only once this is achieved can you truly move forward and improve.
