Is it the Real Thing?
Most people crave some form of love, but actually finding it can be quite the journey. The last thing you want to do is waste your time in a relationship that isn’t the real thing. Here are 20 signs to look out for if you want to verify your partner’s true intentions.
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1. They Put Themselves First
If your partner is always prioritizing their happiness and desires before yours, then you’ve got a problem on your hands. Do you always watch what they want? Go where they want? Eat what they want? Time to keep track.
2. Financial Exploitation
Do you suddenly find yourself supporting your partner? Worse, are they making you support others in their life, from kids to parents to pets? Unless you’ve offered to do this for them, be mindful of their true intentions.
3. Unnecessarily Jealous
A manipulative partner wants to make sure you stay in the relationship until they want you out. This might lead them to being extra controlling, preventing you from talking to friends or going out. They may brush it off as jealousy, but it’s really a control tactic.
4. They Give You Whiplash
Your partner seems to be a different person every week. Sometimes they act so sweet and loving, but other times they’re distant and volatile. What they’re doing is giving you just enough affection to ensure you stick around. Slowly, they’ll start to act like their true selves more often.
5. They Disrespect Boundaries
At first, they’ll act like they completely understand your boundaries, but then slowly, they’ll start to step over them. They’ll play it off as a joke, saying you’re being silly or that it’s no big deal. It could be something as simple as not calling you a certain name or as complex as respecting dietary restrictions.
6. They Belittle Your Interests
If your partner laughs at or dismisses your hobbies, then they don’t really care about you beyond shallow factors. They may say your video games are silly or your crystal collection is a waste of time. The only hobbies that seem valid are their own.
7. They Prioritize the Physical
Whenever you’re together, they seem to focus on the physical elements. This can go both ways. For instance, a manipulative man might always be trying to push for intimacy. Meanwhile, a manipulative woman may fish for compliments, avoid emotional topics, and prioritize her looks. People like this probably only see the relationship as transactional—they’re not interested in deep love.
8. They Talk the Talk
To play the role of a loving partner, these people will always talk about love. They’ll talk about bringing you flowers, helping with chores, or taking the dog for a walk. But when it comes down to it, they never seem to follow through. After every argument, they promise they’ll change, but they never do.
9. They Threaten to Leave
These manipulative partners crave control, and the only way to ensure they have it is to keep you scared. They fool you with small doses of affection, then threaten to leave if you don’t meet their every desire.
10. They Act Like The Prize
Throughout the relationship, they will act like you are the lucky one. They’ll talk about how everyone wants them, how they’re so interesting, so beautiful, so successful. They will make sure you are grateful for their presence, and then use that to control you.
Now that we have talked about the warning signs displayed by people with ulterior motives, here are 10 signs that guarantee your partner is looking for true love.
1. Their Actions Back Up the Talk
If your partner truly loves you, they will follow talk with action. If they say they want to bring you flowers, they will. If they say they think your hobbies are cool, they’ll participate in them too.
2. They Show Up
Whether you have a recital, a talk, or simply need to attend a family function, your partner is always there to go with you. They don’t try to talk you out of going or say they’ll “try” their best. These partners get the job done and will rarely leave you hanging.
3. They Tell Their Family
If your partner has serious feelings for you, they will tell their family all about you. Mom and Dad shouldn’t be surprised when you show up because, after all, they’ve been hearing about you for a while.
4. They Prioritize You
Your partner isn’t afraid to put you first, asking for your opinion on where to eat or what to watch. Of course, they don’t let you walk all over them, but they keep things balanced. They enjoy it when you call the shots, and you feel safe when they take the lead too.
5. They Make Moves For The Future
Talking about some far-off future is easy, but actually putting things into motion shows true intention. If your partner talks about moving in together and actually starts showing you places, then they’re serious. If they always talk about taking a trip and actually start booking hotels, then you know they’re for real.
6. They Show You Off
Your partner is proud of you, and they want the whole world to see how in love they are. They will happily take you to outings with friends or hold your hand when you’re strolling through the mall. They also post about you all over their social media and aren’t afraid to let others know they’re taken.
7. They Trust You
A partner who loves you should trust you. They aren’t trying to control you, which means they have no issue with you seeing your buddies or going to parties. They would join you if they could, but they would never accuse you of anything for interacting with the opposite gender.
8. They Stand Up For You
When you find yourself taking heat from a friend, a co-worker, or a stranger, your partner will jump into the ring to fight for you. Even if it’s their own parents giving you a hard time, a partner who loves you will tell them just how wrong they are.
9. They Reciprocate Effort
If you do something nice for your partner, like make their favorite dessert or buy a present, then you don’t even need to ask for reciprocation because they’ll do it automatically. It’s not necessarily a quid-pro-quo either, as both of you just enjoy making each other happy.
10. They Treat You Like The Prize
In loving relationships, there is no “prize” or “settler,” as both are thrilled to have one another in their lives. That being said, if your partner loves you, they’ll do everything in their power to make you happy. Just be sure not to take advantage of this—you don’t want to become the manipulator in the end.
