10 Terrible Pieces Of Relationship Advice To Ignore & 10 You Should Always Listen To
Take a Page From the Right Book
There’s no shortage of relationship advice in today’s world. From influencers and therapists to YouTube videos and friends’ advice, we can’t always keep track of what’s “right” and what’s “wrong.” However, some advice out there is objectively dicey while some remain timeless rules to follow. Let’s explore a few of each.
1. Don’t Go to Bed Angry
Not every couple is ready for resolution before bed. You’re both tired, tempers are flared, and forcing yourself to an agreement could do more harm than good. For some couples, it’s best to let things simmer before making it worse.
2. True Love is Unconditional
If you think about it, “unconditional love” can open the door to terrible behavior. Partners aren’t obliged to stick with anyone who doesn’t make them happy. They shouldn’t “unconditionally love” someone who’s hurt them and won’t accept responsibility or change. It's okay to have boundaries, and the right partners respects them.
3. You Can Fix Someone
It’s one thing to encourage your partner through beneficial change—it’s another to walk in with a plan to “fix them.” You shouldn’t take that burden on yourself. You also shouldn’t dive into a relationship with someone you want to “fix” because it’s pretty insulting to the other person!
4. Having a Child Will Solve Your Problems
This classic move has plagued couples for years. Children won’t save tumultuous relationships. The last thing thin ice needs is more weight and a baby causes far more stress, especially for people who weren’t wholeheartedly ready for the challenge.
5. You Should Play Hard to Get
It isn’t the ‘60s anymore! You don’t need to play hard to get to let someone know you’re interested. In fact, mixed signals are often a quick way for people to lose interest; potential partners won’t want to jump through hoops so they can get to know you. You shouldn’t deprive yourself of happiness either.
6. Fights Mean Your Relationship Is in Trouble
Contrary to popular belief, the occasional argument is healthy in a relationship. While constant fighting can signal trouble, tiffs help you both communicate better and resolve arguments in a healthy way.
7. Counseling Will Save Your Relationship
Therapists aren’t miracle workers. As much as we’d like to believe that professional help will smooth things over, crumbling relationships may break apart anyway. The best way to approach therapy is when both partners are invested in saving the relationship; if one goes because they felt “forced,” it’s likely too late to salvage.
8. Wait for Your Soulmate
True love can feel like you’ve found the perfect person—however, the jury’s still out on whether “soulmates” exist. Relationships take work and the idea that a “soulmate” is waiting for you can detract from the very real opportunities in front of you.
9. Honesty is the Best Policy
Honesty is one of the cornerstones of a healthy relationship, but there’s a difference between authenticity and hurting someone. White lies that spare their feelings aren’t the end of the world. The most important distinction is knowing when a simple fib becomes full-blown lying (or impedes legitimate discussions).
10. They Bully You Because They Like You
We’re not sure why rude behavior was ever peddled as a good thing. This nonsense might have flown on the playground, but real relationships aren’t built on petty insults. If someone disrespects you right away, don’t expect them to change down the road.
While there’s a good amount of terrible advice out there, we’ve also stumbled into a few gold nuggets. Let’s dive into which suggestions you should always keep in mind.
1. Get Together for the Right Reasons
One of the most important aspects of a good relationship is dating for the right reasons. You shouldn’t feel pressured by loved ones. You shouldn’t ask someone out to “avoid being alone.” A relationship won’t make it if you never wanted it to begin with.
2. Don’t Take Each Other for Granted
Appreciation doesn’t end with the honeymoon. Good partners don’t take their significant other for granted. You should aim to express your appreciation every day, even for the little things. That kind of acknowledgment lets them know just how valued they still are.
3. Your Relationship Will Change
Don’t forget that as you both grow, so will your relationship. Marriage, children, and big life events can change how much time you spend together. It can change your personality and responsibilities. The most important thing is that anticipate the swings and grow together.
4. Plan Date Nights
Date nights keep the spark alive! Don’t be afraid to plan a night out once a week, celebrate anniversaries, or book trips together. That time away only gets more important as you age.
5. Don’t Lose Your Individuality
As much as we love our partners, it’s important not to lose sight of who we are without them. You should still have your own hobbies and friend group to support your individuality. It’s also a good idea to spend a little time away from each other—go out with friends or take the afternoon for yourself once in a while.
6. Make Sure You Communicate
Relationships crumble without communication. From healthy disagreements to plainly discussing your feelings, partners should know how to speak with each other. You don’t want to spend your life with someone you can’t really talk to.
7. Keep Realistic Expectations
Unrealistic expectations wreck relationships. We’re not just talking about expectations for a fairytale romance. We’re talking about time in the boudoir or thinking your partner can read minds. Keep things realistic and learn to respect the relationship you have.
8. Learn to Forgive Them
Forgiveness is a big part of successful relationships. Remember that there’s no “scoreboard” for arguments and that smaller tiffs should be forgiven and forgotten. Holding on to the little things only leads to resentment.
9. Respect Your Partner
Respect comes in many forms, and they’re all crucial in long-lasting relationships. Good partners respect each other’s differences, don’t try to change the other person, and don’t talk behind each other’s backs—even as a joke.
10. There’s No Mold for Every Couple
Perhaps the most vital thing to remember is that there’s no mold for every couple. Some couples sleep in different rooms. Others don’t always chat at the dinner table. You may take solo vacations or engage in your own hobbies. Everyone looks different!
