The 10 Worst Dating Tips That Never Work & 10 Things To Do Instead
The Dos And Don'ts Of Dating
Everyone has heard outrageous dating tips from someone who thinks they know. From reverse psychology to arbitrary rules, it can all seem very confusing. However, dating is actually quite simple and really comes down to being yourself and having fun. Here are the 10 worst dating tips that never work and what to do instead.
1. The Three-Day Rule
Ah, the antiquated "three-day rule" or waiting three days after a date to text or call to not seem too eager. This is a great way to make someone feel you don't like them and maybe even lose interest in you. If you like someone, just be upfront with your feelings.
2. Be Mean To Your Crush
There's a common misconception that in order to make someone like you, you should be a little mean to them: the "nice guys finish last" notion. While this may work for some people, it's definitely not the majority and it's pretty toxic.
3. It's A Numbers Game
We all have that one friend constantly swiping right under the assumption that the more you date, the more likely your chances are of finding a good match. This is a great way to go on a lot of bad dates with people you're completely incompatible with while potentially overlooking a perfect match.
4. Act Indifferent
Acting indifferent or "playing hard to get" is a classic strategy. However, it's more confusing than anything and only puts you in an unhealthy cycle.
5. Lie About Your Interests To Impress Them
You might feel tempted to talk yourself up and make yourself sound cooler than you are when you just start dating someone. This isn't a good idea as you might end up getting serious with this person and your lie will quickly be uncovered.
6. Just Wait For It To Happen
You might've heard people saying things like "it will happen when it's meant to" or "never look for love," but if you're waiting around, not putting yourself out there, it truly won't happen. You have to go for it, even if it's hard sometimes.
7. Create A Checklist
Some people have a list of traits they want their ideal partner to have. While it's good to know what you want, don't be too rigid. Otherwise, you might overlook the love of your life because they're not the right height or their eyes are the wrong color.
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8. Love Conquers All
Love is a strong feeling that at times, feels like all that matters. However, to get over all of life's hurdles together, you need to have more than just those sparkly feelings. Compatability, shared values, and the willingness to work together are key.
9. Find Someone Who Completes You
Finding someone who completes you isn't the goal with dating. You should be complete already. If you're not, you should maybe work on yourself before dating.
10. If They Love You, They'll Change
Don't go into a relationship with the expectation that they'll change. If there are things you can't accept about the person, they aren't right for you. That being said, no one is perfect, and managing expectations is key.
Now that we've talked about what you shouldn't do when you start dating someone, let's talk about what you should do.
1. Be Upfront With Your Feelings
Just like playing hard to get is the wrong strategy, being upfront and honest about your feelings is exactly what you should do. Why would you not want to tell the person you care about how amazing you think they are?
2. Be Yourself
This one seems like it should be obvious, but it's easy to get carried away, nervously acting like someone you aren't on first dates. Being authentically you is the only way to be when you're getting to know someone. Otherwise it'll all fall apart very quickly.
3. Communicate Honestly
Honesty is the backbone to any healthy relationship. Create the foundation of trust early by setting a high bar for open communication between yourself and your potentially-new partner.
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4. Don't Rush
It's tempting to rush into things when you're feeling all those warm lovey-dovey feelings. However, you should remember to slow down and take time to really get to know the person. Otherwise, you might overlook red flags.
5. Have Fun
Don't stress about dating or take things too seriously. Dating is all about getting to know new people so just relax, have fun, and enjoy the journey.
6. Don't Rely On Someone To Make You Happy
Putting your happiness in someone else's hands is a recipe for disaster. If that person decides to leave the relationship, everything will come crashing down for you so make sure you're in a happy and balanced place before you get into anything serious.
7. Ask Yourself "Would You Date You?"
A great way to know if you're ready to date is to ask yourself if you would want to date yourself. If the answer is no, focus on self-improvement, not dating. It's only fair to your potential partner.
8. Don't Ignore Red Flags
If you ignore red flags, it will only come back to haunt you further down the road. Make sure to deal with them early on.
9. Don't Just Focus On Chemistry
Chemistry is what gives you all those amazing sparkly feelings. Compatability, on the other hand, is defined by the shared values that connect you. Too often, we get carried away when we find chemistry with someone, but that alone is not enough for a meaningful, lasting relationship.
10. Know Your Boundaries
Knowing your boundaries and communicating them openly to your partner is essential for maintaining your individuality. Adapting too much just to be agreeable will only make things uncomfortable later on down the road.
