The Tough Things Every Couple Experiences But No One Talks About
We all want to paint a perfect picture of our lives to our friends and family. In reality, it's never that rosy. We all have issues, fights, and moments of boredom but we don't like to present that side of life. Therefore, we don't talk about some of the things that are tearing us apart which can exacerbate the situation to the point of breaking. Here are 20 of the biggest relationship killers we should be talking about more.
1. Chores
It may seem insignificant but the division of household chores is actually one of the things couples fight about the most. It's a small issue that can quickly grow out of hand when one person feels the brunt of the housework falling disproportionately on them, making them feel taken for granted.
2. Finances
Although practically all of us experience them, we hardly ever talk about money worries. Financial stress can be a huge burden on anyone. If one partner is bringing their money troubles into a relationship it can quickly cause strain and resentment.
3. Excessive Screen Time
Increasingly in the modern day, one partner will pay more attention to their phone than to the person they care about the most, causing frustration, resentment, and feelings of inadequacy. It may seem like a simple problem, but being unable to be fully present can be damaging to a relationship to the point where there's no return.
4. Selfishness
We all have selfish moments, but a relationship involves two people. Sometimes, you have to put the other person's needs ahead of your own.
5. Lack of Growth
Oftentimes, there's an inequality when it comes to personal growth in relationships. One partner may find they've changed so much while the other person has stayed the same. The person who has changed might find they lack the connection to the other and no longer admire their partner as they used to.
6. Stonewalling
Stonewalling is when one person tunes out from a relationship usually due to too much bickering, shutting off communication entirely. Communication is key to a healthy relationship so too much stonewalling sets the relationship up for failure.
7. Family
Biological families can put a lot of stress on a relationship. If your family doesn't like your partner, it can completely ruin your otherwise rosy view of them.
8. Children
One of the biggest relationship killers is undoubtedly the decision to have kids or not. If one partner wants to have a baby while the other doesn't, it's sure to become a problem at one time or another.
9. Comparison
It's hard not to compare your current partner to your last or your relationship to others. We all do it to some extent, but if not kept in check, it can make your partner feel inadequate and underappreciated.
10. Addiction
Addiction can take many forms. Whether it's a substance abuse problem or an addiction to a certain activity, it can cause tremendous strain on a relationship, posing financial, emotional, and behavioral challenges.
11. Friends
It's hard to be affected by what our friends think. If your friends don't like who you're dating, it can cause a rift between you and your partner.
12. Dependency
If one partner is too dependent on the other for their happiness, it can bring too much pressure to the relationship. If one person feels a heavy burden, they can start to feel overwhelmed. A healthy relationship allows for some degree of independence.
13. Past Trauma
We all have baggage, but it's important to keep under control how much of your past traumas you bring into your relationship. If it's too much, it's unfair to your partner and is sure to lead to a breakup.
14. Insecurity
Most couples experience problems with jealousy and some amount is normal. However, feeling like you're on a tight leash isn't a good way to live. Too much jealousy is unhealthy and can bring a lot of strain to a relationship.
15. Poor Communication
Poor communication can quickly cause a relationship to implode, especially if one or both members are impulsive. Communicating badly can cause your partner to feel hurt, insecure, or taken for granted.
16. Poor Sexual Connection
Even if physical intimacy isn't that crucial to you, having a poor sexual connection with your partner is bound to catch up with you down the road. Even if everything else is perfect, intimacy is an integral part of being in a romantic relationship and if your partner no longer excites you, it can be game over.
17. Holding Onto The Past
Sometimes we get so caught up in judging our partner's past actions, that it can be impossible to move forward, even if they've done a lot to change and redeem themselves. It takes a lot of time and effort to forgive and forget and can sometimes feel like too much.
18. Dishonesty
The foundation of a healthy relationship is trust and it can take a lot of time and effort to build it. Unfortunately, it just takes one small lie to shatter it, and becomes impossible to rebuild.
19. Unrealistic Expectations
With social media selling us ideal images of what couples should look like, it can be easy to fall into the trap of thinking your relationship isn't all it should be. In reality, there will be hard days and dull moments and it's important to remember that social media isn't real life.
20. Holding Grudges
Fights happen in every relationship. The important thing is to be able to move on and grow from them. However, if one or both partners hold onto grudges, it becomes impossible to go forward.
