Small Talk and Going to College? No Thank You
Society has a lot of “norms,” many of which we put up with even though they make no sense or actively contribute to poor mental health. No more! We’re here to explore 20 of the worst ones that seriously need to go.
1. An Expectation to Have Children
Marriage and kids were all the rave back in the day—after all, you couldn’t truly be happy without a ring on your finger and children in your home. However, many of us know that's a farce. Kids aren’t easy, and the expectation that women should rush to deal with pregnancy, labor, and eventually motherhood is a little absurd.
2. Small Talk
Boy, how ‘bout them clouds? Wow, sports. We’ll be honest: we’d love to do away with small talk! While it can sometimes lead to a pleasant conversation, it’s mostly just awkward, regurgitated lines that strangers only half listen to.
3. Working Most of Our Lives
There’s something weird about working our butts off for at least 65 years and then only have about fifteen to truly enjoy ourselves. Sure, most people live past 80 nowadays, but you also deal with restrictive health problems that make retirement a lot harder. Studies show that employees thrive with four-day work weeks, but we’ve yet to see that universal change.
4. Making Children Hug Strangers
It seems cute to ask your child to hug distant relatives or total strangers, but today’s research shows the danger in that. That “innocent” suggestion actually removes their autonomy and teaches an inappropriate lesson about consent. The most important thing is to listen to your kids, especially since they look to you for protection!
Tamara Govedarovic on Unsplash
5. Paying Thousands for a Funeral
We want to ensure our loved ones have a proper send-off—but not for thousands of dollars. Between the casket and the flowers, the catering and the plot, some funerals cost well over $25,000, which seems insane for what it is.
6. The Dating Game
Wouldn’t it be nice if we could just text people we like? If we didn’t have to dance around our feelings for fear of embarrassment? Dating rules have certainly evolved but they’re hardly easy. Many of us still play this silly game and we wish society would do away with all the restrictions.
7. Celebrity Culture
It’s probably time we stopped idolizing celebrities. Whether they peddle dangerous dieting habits or get away with literal crimes, most famous people aren’t who they’re cracked up to be. That kind of parasocial relationship builds an unhealthy attachment to complete strangers—and sometimes influences our lives.
Vincentas Liskauskas on Unsplash
8. Being on Your Phone During Social Events
It’s hard to get away from our phones in today’s world, but try to put it away when you’re with friends. We shouldn’t normalize being glued to our phones, especially when we’re supposed to be enjoying each other’s company.
9. Team-Building Exercises
There’s no shame in spending time with your colleagues—when you want to. However, let’s stop scheduling weekly hangouts after work or multiple parties a year. Not everyone wants to spend time with people they consider co-workers.
10. Having Giant Weddings
Congratulations, you’re getting married. Don’t forget to invite great aunt Phillippa and her three cats. Oh, and your second cousin twice removed also needs an invite. Enough with the madness! Weddings cost an obscene amount of money and it’s high time we let the couple enjoy their day however they want.
11. Singing “Happy Birthday”
If you’re the kind of person who enjoys the birthday song, all the power to you. But many sit awkwardly and wait to blow out their candles. We’re not little kids anymore, so if someone asks you to forego the singing, please do!
12. Equating Rudeness With Honesty
Sometimes we need a swift kick in the pants to snap out of it. However, some people take their “honesty” a little too far, often equating point-blank cruelty with “the truth.” There’s a difference between a gentle reminder and an unkind word. If you blame unkindness on “being honest,” don’t expect to keep many friends.
13. Emasculating Men Who Cry
Gender norms aren’t what they used to be (thank goodness), so it’s time for men to let those tears shed. You’re not less of a man for crying. You don’t deserve cruel comments. Most importantly, you’re not weak for showing human emotions.
14. Always Putting Family First
Toxic family members often get a pass on their behavior—but we don’t agree with that. It’s unfair to expect people to nourish unhealthy relationships. They shouldn’t “forgive and forget” or neglect a real discussion about any trauma. We wouldn’t tell someone to stay in an abusive relationship, and it’s no different with family.
15. Wearing Makeup
Wear makeup if you want to! It’s an art form, it gives people confidence, and it’s a great way to express yourself. But let’s also hold the same grace for anyone who doesn’t want to wear makeup. You're not less attractive when you show off your beautiful, bare face!
16. Traditional Gender Roles
Househusbands can stay at home. Women can be the sole breadwinner. We can all wear whatever we want. We’re all encouraged to show our emotions. Trust us, it’s better this way! Gender norms have only ever worsened mental health, ruined self-esteem, and negatively influenced life choices.
17. Sharing Every Aspect on Social Media
It’s time we broke free from the shackles of social media. We don’t need to make Instagram pages for our hobbies. We don’t need to snap a photo of every dinner plate. It’s much better to live in the moment.
18. Intercourse is Taboo
Stop asking women for their “body count.” Educate young people about safe intercourse. It’s not a taboo subject—it’s normal and should be discussed to prevent misinformation or harmful rhetoric!
19. Going to College
College was often sold as the only answer after high school, but that’s just not true. Some students don’t want to dig themselves into debt for a degree they aren’t even passionate about. Some prefer trade schools to get hands-on training for lucrative careers. We ought to respect both choices equally.
20. Being Introverted is a Bad Thing
Introversion isn’t something to “overcome.” Some folks are perfectly happy with their own company. Others need to recharge after a social event. That’s okay! Embrace being comfortable with yourself and your hobbies.
