What We (Now) Know About Love
Love—how do we even begin to describe its nuances? It can feel deep and consuming, yet also painful and heartwrenching. But the complexity of this emotion is why we're able to learn so much after different relationships, allowing us to grow into the person we are today. So, what has love taught you? Here are 20 common lessons it offers.
1. Prioritize Self-Love
You've probably heard the saying: Before you love someone else, you need to love yourself first. And it's true—self-love should always be prioritized. After all, when you fully accept yourself for who you are, you understand how to love others.
2. Relationships Are a Two-Way Street
This is another cliché you might have heard countless times before, but it's another important one to keep in mind about romantic love and love in general: Relationships are a two-way street. In other words, relationships should be built on mutual respect, support, and effort—not with only one person always giving and the other always receiving.
3. Communication Is Key
Not communicating your inner thoughts and feelings can lead to conflicts and misunderstandings, so it's always important to be honest and open to your partner and the ones you love. Even if the conversation causes rifts, it's something you can work out immediately.
4. Sacrifices Are Inevitable
Love often requires making sacrifices and compromises, where we'll have to put others' needs before our own.
Of course, since relationships are a two-way street as we mentioned, there are limits to being selfless. For one, you shouldn't always be the one having to make sacrifices.
5. Humans Aren't Perfect
As much as we'd like to be perfect, humans are flawed beings. This means we sometimes make mistakes, say not-so-great things, act selfishly, and stay adamantly stubborn even if we're in the wrong. But the important thing is that we know to learn from our past selves to become better, even if we can never be truly perfect.
6. Trust is Fragile & Hard to Build
At the beginning of any relationship—whether romantic or platonic—trust is one of, if not the hardest, things to build. And once you've built it, it can also be incredibly easy to break. However, it's a key element to establishing a healthy connection, and it's one that should strengthen as time goes on.
7. Forgive But Never Forget
While we don't mean you should hold grudges on everyone who's wronged you, it's unhealthy to continue ruminating on past mistakes and events. When you're ready to move on, forgive—but allow the experience to continually help you grow as you move forward.
8. Conflicts Are Inevitable
There's no such thing as love without conflicts. There will always be bumps and rifts and arguments, but what's most important is how we handle them.
It should also come to a point—you should never be in constant opposition with your partner.
9. Love Requires Empathy
Without empathy, you won't understand the pain of others. And in love and all types of relationships, it's crucial to be understanding of how vulnerable and volatile our emotions can be, just as it's important to try and see the world from someone else's perspective.
10. Love Will Be Painful
Sure, sometimes we find "the one" right away, but oftentimes heartbreak is inevitable. Love can feel like we're at the top of the world one moment, and at the bottom of the ocean next. But each time we learn to recover and swim back ashore, we get a little stronger and braver, and that's what matters.
11. Sometimes, Letting Go is the Answer
When something isn't working anymore, there's no point in continuing to try. Love may require sacrifices and compromises, but love should never feel draining. If a relationship is making you more sad than happy, it's probably best to let go.
12. Respect Should Be Reciprocal
Just as your partner should respect you, you should respect them in the same way. After all, to love someone for who they are is to accept that they are separate from you, with their own thoughts, interests, traits, and opinions. In turn, you should expect they treat you the same.
13. Love is Open-Minded
Love doesn't fit into a perfect mold. We might have an "ideal type" that we've crafted out in our heads, but if we limit ourselves to dating only the ones who match that exact standard, we risk missing out on great people. The key is to strike a balance, stay open-minded, and avoid boxing yourself in.
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14. Actions Speak Louder Than Words
Would you rather your partner tell you they love you, or that they show it through their actions? While they should do both, just remembering the little things, offering support, or being present are also ways they can show that they care. Think about it this way: wouldn't you be happier if you were given something handmade over a generic gift card?
15. Love Isn't a Fairytale
Because love can be painful and conflicts can arise, there's no such thing as the kind of love we see in fairytales. In real life, love isn't always perfect, because we're flawed, too. But that shouldn't be a bad thing—it just proves how complex love, relationships, and emotions are.
16. Boundaries Matter
Just as it's important to build trust, it's also crucial to establish and respect boundaries. Sometimes, there are sides to us that we might not yet be ready to show, or things we're not entirely comfortable with.
To love is to understand that there are lines we can't cross—not until we're given the okay—and to stay patient.
17. Love & Happiness Can't Be Forced
Don't settle for someone who doesn't truly mesh with you; love should be reciprocal and happiness can't be forced. Even when you feel like "time is running out" on finding your perfect match, it's important you find someone you'll find joy in every moment with, rather than someone who's only there for show.
18. Love Doesn't Always Last Forever
Sometimes, love can stay strong for decades before it breaks—and that's okay. It doesn't mean those years were wasted or that you chose the wrong person, it just means you've grown and matured, and that you now better understand what you're looking for.
19. Love Looks Different for Everyone
Because everyone is unique, love looks different for everyone. There are a plethora of ways we give and receive depending on our love languages. And that's what makes love so diverse and intricate, because all our experiences can be different and there's no "one-size fits all".
20. Everyone Deserves Love
At the end of the day, whether you've found the one for you or you've gone through a series of heartbreaks, everyone deserves love. And no matter how long it takes, you will find the person—and people—who will cherish you for who you are, just as you will for them.
