It’s The Little Things
There are so many major red flags to watch out for when it comes to relationships – but did you ever consider the little things? From “nothing” remarks to passive aggressiveness, here are 20 things that secretly dismantle relationships behind the scenes.
1. Always Complaining
Constant negativity is a major drain on any relationship, and while you should have the ability to share your emotions with your partner, no one likes a constant complainer. It's important to find balance, or else the relationship can feel more like an emotional outlet than an actual partnership.
2. Forgetting Compliments
You might think that your partner already knows they look great, and after all, you’re with them. But it’s important to say these words out loud and often. Saying “you look good” or “I appreciate you” goes a long way, and their absence can lead to self-esteem issues.
3. Overtly Shy
It’s totally understandable to be a bit shy when forming a relationship, but there is a time to let that shyness go and become open to your partner. However, if you’re always avoiding eye contact, mumbling, and never initiating conversations, it can feel all too burdensome for your partner.
4. Physical Distance
Physical distance can certainly make the heart grow fonder, but too much will have them forgetting all about you. A little bit of touch is needed to elicit intimacy, and its absence can lead to complex habits.
5. Micromanaging
No one likes being micromanaged, and your partner is no different. You might think you’re just checking in or doing quality control, but nitpicking tiny details and not trusting them to handle chores can leave them feeling incompetent and resentful.
6. Predictability
While some people like the stability of predictability, it can also ruin the excitement in a relationship, leaving both you and your partner feeling rather lifeless. This predictability can manifest in different ways, from eating at the same restaurant to acting like roommates.
7. Mothering
No one wants to date their parent, but lots of partners take advantage of each other in this way. For instance, nagging your partner about their habits or treating them like a child rather than an equal is troublesome. It’s not your responsibility to fix them, and if they expect you to do everything for them, you’ve got bigger problems on hand.
8. Scolding
It’s completely okay to disagree and argue with your partner – after all, these things happen. But you should never scold your partner like a child. Trying to embarrass them or make them feel small can cause other respect issues.
9. Always Serious
Relationships and love are serious subjects without a doubt, but it's important to keep the playfulness alive. Having lighthearted moments and feeling comfortable enough to joke is key. Not every conversation needs to be turned into something heavy.
10. Neglecting Physical Touch
Much like keeping a distance, keeping your touch to yourself can also cause issues. Have you ever heard of dead bedrooms? To avoid this, throw in some spontaneous hugs, have flirty touches, and treat intimacy like a moment of closeness rather than a routine chore.
11. Constant Fighting
Constant fighting can lead to emotional exhaustion, and at some point, your partner may be too tired to keep playing the same game over and over again. This could include holding onto grudges or treating disagreements like personal attacks.
Priscilla Du Preez 🇨🇦 on Unsplash
12. Seeking Permission
Always asking for approval may make you come across as insecure. It’s nice to let your partner know that you’ll be hanging out with a group of friends, but asking them for permission can lead to weird power dynamics.
13. Forgetting To Groom
To keep attraction up, it’s important to put in the effort. This means you shouldn’t neglect your hygiene or dress too casually all the time either.
14. Constant Neediness
There’s a reason people don’t like clingy behavior, as it leaves many feeling suffocated. Constantly needing reassurance or validation is a one-way ticket to getting on your partner’s “annoying” list.
15. Getting Too Comfortable
As a relationship progresses, it’s all too easy to get too comfortable in the routine of things. Maybe you stop shaving, or maybe you stop going out on dates. Either way, it's important to find ways to keep the spark alive.
16. Lack of Ambition
Passion and attraction go hand in hand, and no one wants to be with somebody who stays still. Having personal goals makes you more attractive, and never growing means you’ll only be left behind.
17. Lack of Respect
Disrespect is one of the easiest ways to destroy safety and trust. This could be as small as rolling your eyes or dismissing your partner’s opinions, or as serious as ignoring their boundaries or calling them names.
18. Belittling
Trying to destroy your partner’s confidence, even if “you know best,” is a terrible way to foster a relationship. This could include using sarcasm to bring them down or making fun of their hobbies.
19. Poor Public Treatment
What’s worse than belittling your partner is doing it in front of an audience. This could include teasing them in front of their friends or talking badly about them in group chats. If you don’t like them, you can simply move on.
20. Trying Too Hard
Lots of people talk about trying too hard, and what it essentially means is forcing a connection through over-texting or over-complimenting. You should never have to change your personality to date someone, and all it does is lay the seeds for an eventual breakup.