We've All Had Those Days
Some afternoons, being at the office watching the clock tick away the hours in what feels like slow motion can feel like torture. All you can think about are your big plans after work, or simply taking a nap. Maybe this is one of those rare days where you make up an excuse to leave work early. But, what do you say? Here are 20 fool proof excuses.
1. "My contact lens tore and I can barely see."
If your boss wears contacts, they'll know exactly how serious a torn lens can be (it could scratch your cornea). If they don't wear contacts and have no idea how serious it is, it sounds scary enough that they'll let you off anyway so as to not have any legal problems. What's more, it's impossible to prove if you're lying or not as contact lenses are invisible so this is a pretty fool proof option.
2. "I'm having the painters in."
This one only works if you're a biological woman and it's just one of the many eurphemisms you can choose from. It's especially effective if you have a male boss who is likely petrified of upsetting a woman who might be PMSing.
3. "Family emergency."
Just keep it simple and say you have a family emergency. No one will ask any further questions for fear of stirring up emotions.
4. "My smoke detector won’t stop going off, and I have to deal with it."
No matter what's going down at work that day, your house potentially being on fire is understandably more important. Your boss won't want to stand in your way, and the next day, you can return with the news it was a false alarm.
PublicDomainPictures on Pixabay
5. "The vet called about an appointment for my dog, and they can only fit me in today."
All humans have sympathy for animals. If you politely approach your boss with this question, as long as they have any ounce of softness in their bones, they'll let you go.
6. "I just remembered I have an appointment with an optometrist I booked six months ago."
This one works because it's relatable. We've all been stuck waiting for appointments with specialists that take so long to come that we've already completely forgotten about them. You can even make a fake "appointment reminder" in your phone to show your boss.
Photo By: Kaboompics.com on Pexels
7. "My child/pet is ill and I need to take care of them."
If you don't have a child, say your pet. If you don't have a pet, say your mother. Make it as believable as possible and you're bound to be set free.
8. "I just got a call from the plumber. There's a serious leak at home that needs my attention."
Saying this one with urgency is the key. A leak is not the most serious thing to happen but no one wants one in their home. Unless your boss is a plumber, they won't ask for more details and will probably just let you go.
9. "I feel a migraine coming on and need to lie down."
Unless you're a great actor, saying you feel it coming is better than saying it's already there. Chances are your boss will take pity on you and allow you to go home.
10. "There’s a delivery I need to sign for."
Not every excuse needs to be a serious emergency. If you stress the importance of the delivery and that it can't be rescheduled, they'll likely allow you to split.
11. "My flatmate locked themselves out and I need to go help."
Saying you need to go let your roommate in because they forgot their keys is the perfect excuse because it takes the blame off yourself. Throw your flatmate under the bus. They won't mind!
12. "The movers canceled on my mother and I need to go help."
Knowing how skeevy moving companies can be, this is a perfectly plausible excuse that works like a charm. What's more, you're helping an elder which shows your admirable character.
13. "My clone just showed up at the office, and it’s best we don’t meet."
If your boss has a sense of humor, this one just might work. Even if it doesn't, it's bound to get a very good laugh.
14. "My child's school just called me and they need me to come right away."
Your boss doesn't want to get in the way of family matters or your child's education. This excuse is deliciously vague because you as a parent have yet to know what the issue is. Just make sure to come ready with a more detailed story for your boss the next day.
LinkedIn Sales Solutions on Unsplash
15. "I left my wallet at my friend's place and I need to go get it before they leave on vacation today."
We've all been there. This one is just detailed enough, plausible, and time sensitive as long as you've kept your wallet out of sight all day.
16. "My ___ Isn't working."
This one only works if you have the tools and know-how to make whatever equipment or software you use at work to go momentarily out of commission. Make sure it's at a time of day when maintenance is off-duty so you aren't ousted.
17. "My doctor just called about a last-minute opening for an appointment I've been waiting for for months."
With health care being what it is, we've all been there. Your boss isn't going to get in the way of you accessing something that is necessary for your wellbeing.
National Cancer Institute on Unsplash
18. "My sister/brother needs me to come bail them out of jail."
This is an interesting one. They'll probably let you go home, but be ready to come back to work with a colorful story.
19. "My child has a recital I totally forgot about."
This is a solid excuse that will likely work despite you coming off like a deadbeat parent. It's especially effective if you throw in "My husband/wife is going to be so upset." You boss doesn't want to stir up any issues in your home life.
20. "I don't feel so good. I think I might have food poisoning."
Everyone has experienced the horror that is food poisoning. Your boss doesn't want you to have that embarassment in the office restroom and what's more, it's not unreasonable for you to show up at work the next day feeling perfectly healthy again.
