Common Pitfalls
It might be a comfort to hear that your latest argument with your significant other isn’t too far-fetched. Turns out there are some topics couples keep getting riled up about, and if you fight about these things, take solace knowing you’re not the only ones.
1. Finances
To no one's surprise, the most fought-about subject is often money. Whether you have it or don’t, lots of arguments come up. For instance, perhaps she wants to save for a house, while he wants to live in the moment. Financial stress can really make or break a couple, especially when their spending habits vary.
2. Chores
If you’ve got to the point in your relationship where you are living together, then there is a need for a division of labor. Often, women get stuck doing all the menial tasks, even if they work on top of it. But even if you and your spouse have divided things up equally, one partner might feel like they’re still doing more than the other.
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3. Personal Habits
Little quirks and habits are what make us unique and lovable. That is until you’re living with a partner, and their messiness was cute until it left your closet in quite the state. One partner might feel it’s unfair for them to change, while the other is building resentment and annoyance.
4. Intimacy
You might think partners who love each other should have no issue building an intimate life together, but it turns out the physical is a point of contention. Dead bedrooms are all too common in longer relationships, and most couples stop dating each other and start living like roommates.
5. Parenting
This one doesn’t apply to everyone, but if you do have children, obviously they become main parts of your arguments. Whether it’s conflicts over how to raise them, being too strict or lenient, or neglecting responsibility, relationships get way more complicated when there’s a whole other human involved.
6. Health
Weight, fitness, diets, and all of that lifestyle stuff can hinder relationships. One partner might feel pressured to keep up a certain routine, while the other feels like they can’t keep up with expectations. Health efforts are all good when you’re doing them for yourself, but it becomes difficult when your physical health is tied to someone else.
7. Together Time
For most couples, it takes a while to fall into a dating groove. How many dates are too many? One partner might feel neglected if the other is always busy, while the other thinks they spend more than enough quality time together. No one wants to feel needy, but it’s all too easy to feel like less than a priority.
8. Personal Boundaries
Some people may lay out their boundaries plain and clear on day one, while others might not even know what they’re uncomfortable with until it happens. It’s all too easy for partners to get offended when boundaries and personal space come up, leading to frustration and arguments.
9. The Past
Despite how honest some people try to be, the past can span years to decades, and getting out all the important details takes a while. Don’t be surprised if your partner does a double-take when they learn something new about your past. Even though it’s not always relevant, this can lead to a lot of friction.
10. Jealousy
It’s almost as if humans are innately jealous creatures. Even if your interactions are completely innocent, a partner might read into them and think there’s something going on between you and a friend, a co-worker, or even a stranger. Just be open and communicate consistently and honestly. In this day and age, if you’re married and living together, you don’t need a password on your devices.
11. Social Life
Another common topic to fight about is one’s social life. Maybe your partner thinks you go out too often, or alternatively, maybe they feel bored at home all the time. Some even complain about feeling excluded from events, which is why it’s important to balance your social life with your relationship.
12. Texting
Texting inherently isn’t the problem here, but communication in general is. Your partner might have expectations about how often you should text them. Perhaps they think a good morning every day should be guaranteed, while you think checking in only to plan dates is more than enough.
13. Time Management
Time management is undoubtedly one of the biggest issues plaguing the personal lives of people, and it only becomes harder with a partner in the picture. Whether they complain about your work-life balance, or feel like you don’t make enough time for them, this can lead to arguments about neglect and priorities.
14. Friends
It’s all too common for a partner to dislike a certain friend, whether they feel uncomfortable by your closeness or feel like you spend more time with a friend than you do with them. Whenever this comes up, it’s important to be understanding and affectionate, but to also draw a line if faced with an ultimatum.
15. Social Media
Everyone uses social media these days, and it’s all too easy to get carried away. Perhaps your partner doesn’t like the kind of people you follow on Instagram, or they feel like you’re more concerned with documenting the relationship for Facebook than you are actually being in it.
16. Family
Family is another hot topic, especially since dynamics can vary completely from person to person. Maybe you’re too close with your parents and give them too much control of your life. On the other hand, perhaps you’re jealous of your partner's family relationships and try to drive a wedge.
17. Career
Many people let their careers define them, but it’s important to know where career stands in a relationship. For instance, plenty of couples argue when one brings up the idea of moving for a job, or pushes one to stay home with the kids while they chase their career goals.
18. Goals
Speaking of goals, it’s important to want the same things as your partner. If they are set on buying a house, and you’d rather save up for a world cruise, then that will obviously lead to some arguments.
19. Future Plans
Future plans are similar to goals, but they might be decades away. We’re talking big picture stuff, like marriage and children. Making sure your partner is on the same page is crucial, and unfortunately, most people don’t find out how differently they feel until the fighting starts.
20. Respect
No relationship is complete without mutual respect. If your fights end in screaming matches with you belittling one another, then you’re likely to keep fighting. Neither of you appreciates or respects your connection, which can lead to silly immature games and plenty of conflict.
