There’s no hard answer for what makes a marriage successful, but there are helpful tips to ensure your partnership survives. Here are 20 pointers for a long and happy marriage.
1. Marry Your Best Friend
If you’re planning to embark on life’s journey with someone, remember that not everything is honky-dory. Life comes with brutal curveballs and marrying someone you see yourself with even in the lowest valley helps you go the distance.
2. Communication is Vital
You’ll never get anywhere with your forever person if you don’t know how to communicate with them. Spending your life with a person means knowing how to keep the lines of communication open so you can work through life’s ups and downs together.
3. Practice Forgiveness
Speak with your spouse about what’s bothering you. If they did or said something offensive, let them know so you can work past it rather than harbor resentment.
4. Quality Time
Quality time isn’t just for the dating stage. If you’re going to spend your life with someone, prioritize spending time together. More time together only helps your bond flourish.
5. Remember You’re a Team
Your marriage won’t last long if only one of you puts in the effort. It’s important to remember that being married means you’re a team. A successful marriage requires equal support on both ends.
6. Enjoy Time Alone
Marriage isn’t the death of your individuality. Make time to do the things you love. Spend time alone, see your friends, or engage in a hobby that’s just for you. The right person will understand, and most importantly, respect that about you.
7. Build Trust
You’re looking at a rocky road ahead if you can’t trust your spouse. Though an unbreakable level of trust takes time to cultivate, you can build trust every day by speaking openly, keeping commitments, and sharing what you feel.
8. Listen
It seems simple on the surface, but being a good listener takes practice. Listen to your partner properly by asking questions, validating their feelings, and reaching a mutual understanding.
9. Accept Disagreements
It would be weird if you agreed with everything your partner said. After all, you’re two different people! It’s okay to disagree—the best marriages respect a difference of opinion.
10. Keep it Spicy
Sexual compatibility is just as important in a marriage as respect or communication. Amid all of life’s chaos, don’t forget about your time under the sheets.
11. Establish Boundaries
Your spouse will never know your boundaries if you don’t communicate them—and your partner should know where you stand. Make your boundaries clear so everyone is on the same page.
12. Address the Little Things
Don’t sweat the small stuff. It doesn’t seem like much now, but sooner or later a bunch of little things turn into a mountain. Communicate openly and honestly so you can move past the anthills now.
13. Express Appreciation
You and your partner deserve appreciation for what you bring to the marriage. Make sure your spouse knows it with regular signs of appreciation. Whether it be verbal, like a simple thanks, or physical, like a kiss on the cheek, make them feel seen!
14. Don’t Take Them for Granted
Don’t fall into a status quo with your spouse. Let them know how valued they are and frequently remind them that you’re grateful for their companionship.
15. Learn to Fight
You’re going to argue in a marriage. The key to moving past it is knowing how to properly fight with each other. Hear each other out, reach an understanding, and never say something you can’t take back.
16. Agree on Big Things
The list goes on for fundamental goals you should agree on. If you’re going to spend the rest of your life with someone, you need to be on the same page about the big stuff.
17. Remember Romance
There are endless ways to express love for your partner. Surprise them with flowers, a spontaneous night out, or carve out some alone time. Keep the romance alive, no matter how long you’ve been together.
18. Laugh With Them
Any good marriage has a healthy dose of humor. It's important to keep things light and be able to laugh with your forever person.
19. Embrace Change
You and your partner will change throughout your lives together—embrace it! Mutual respect for a partner means understanding that they probably aren’t going to be the same person 30 years from now.
20. Split Responsibilities
Your spouse is also your roommate, and living together will come with all the unglamorous bits like chores. Divvy up the duties evenly so you’re both putting in the work without any of the resentment.