Comfortable Ideas to Beat First-Date Nerves
First dates are stressful enough as it is, but they’re downright unpleasant for socially anxious people. You’re expected to make small talk, maintain eye contact, and visit highly intimate places—on top of preexisting nerves! Don’t worry, we have 20 low-stakes options perfect for any anxious daters.
Photo by RDNE Stock project on Pexels
1. Classic Movie Date
Nothing’s better than a classic movie date—regardless of your anxiety levels. You’re not forced to talk right away, you’ll have the perfect topic for conversation afterward, and theaters offer a nostalgic comfort for jittering nerves. It’s also a low-stakes environment where you don’t need to make eye contact or think of small talk topics.
2. Attend an Author Talk
Libraries often have all sorts of fun author talks, which is a great first-date option! If you and your beau-to-be are book nerds, head to your local library or check community groups online for similar talks. You’ll not only learn something new but you’ll also avoid common triggers until you get more familiar with the other person.
3. Take a Painting Class
Painting classes, especially sip and paint, are fun, low-stress ways to calm your nerves. It’s a little easier to make conversation with a new person when you’re distracted, so pick up your brush and see where the night takes you.
4. Head to a Used Bookstore
If you’d rather not sit through an hour-long author talk, you can always visit a secondhand bookstore instead. You’ll have rows of conversation starters, can distract yourself, and also learn about the other person’s interests.
John Michael Thomson on Unsplash
5. Cheer on Your Favorite Sports Team
There’s no better distraction than overpriced popcorn and live action! Head to the stadium (or even your local bar) and watch a game. It’s completely low-pressure and you don’t really have to make small talk.
6. Go to an Art Gallery
Some socially anxious people have a hard time making conversation at all, especially with new faces—art galleries remedy that. Interactive exhibits and stunning pieces take the pressure off you while also providing an easy distraction. You won’t have to scramble for small talk topics either because they’re all around you.
7. Simple Board Game Night
Whether it’s friendly competition or collaborative teamwork, board games pull focus to relieve some first-date pressure. You’ll get to know each other and have a terrific distraction throughout the night.
8. Live Concerts
What brings people together more than music? Local shows not only provide top-notch entertainment but they’re great distractions too. You’re not forced to talk all night and can also get to know the other person’s music tastes. Should things go well, you also have the coolest thing to talk about!
9. Visit a Farmer’s Market
Farmer’s markets are a perfect low-stakes option. Support local business owners, score fresh produce, and chat with your date in a stress-free environment. You can also head out early if the date isn’t going well.
10. Coffee Shop Crawl
Coffee shops aren’t for every socially anxious person. Some like to keep away from such an intimate space until they’re more comfortable—but you can get around that by cafe hopping! Have coffee in one spot and then grab a croissant in another; simple crawls keep you moving and give you several experiences to talk about.
11. Go Thrifting
Thrifting isn’t just for the girls, it’s a casual first-date idea too. From secondhand stores to garage sales, you and your date can browse unique finds and get to know each other a little better.
12. Friendly Competition at the Arcade
Who said the arcade was for kids? Hop in that race car or don that claw for a bit of friendly competition (and casual conversation). You’ll also have access to food and drinks, making it an all-in-one experience for any first date.
13. Laugh it Up at a Comedy Show
Comedy shows are a great remedy for social anxiety (if you don’t sit in the front row). Check for local shows in your areas. You’ll relieve some pressure and feel way better once those chuckles come out. Many are free or pay-what-you-can as well, so you don’t need to worry about spending a fortune.
14. Walk Around the Neighborhood
From hiking trails to leisurely strolls around the neighborhood, a good walk does the body good. It’s also amazing for first-date jitters. Casual walks are simple and fun, but also provide a good means of escape if things aren’t going well.
15. Simple Baking Classes
Baking (or cooking) classes provide all the entertainment you need for a low-stakes first date. You’ll learn something new, can chat with your date throughout, and won’t have to worry about any nerve-wracking triggers like eye contact or one-on-one environments.
16. Get Your Skates Ready
Cold weather calls for cocoa and ice skating, so fetch a pair of skates and head to the rink. You’ll likely feel better in the fresh air and can chat with your date in a low-pressure spot. It doesn’t matter if you’ve mastered the ice either, your date won’t mind catching you!
17. Mini Golf Together
It’s hard to get nervous when you’re lit up under a black light. Share some laughs with your date during mini golf, a stress-free option for anyone in need of distraction. If things go well, you can head out to a bar afterward—and if they don’t, mini golf only lasts about an hour.
18. Walk a Dog From the Shelter
Are you and your date dog people? Now’s the perfect time to head to your local animal shelter and volunteer. You can hang out with the animals or even take a puppy for a walk, and adorable dogs are the ultimate stress reliever.
19. Scavenger Hunts
It sounds a bit silly on the surface, but scavenger hunts get your brain working and take the pressure off during a first date. Check online community groups and see which one sounds best—it’s a fun way to get to know each other!
20. Picnic in the Park
Sunshine and picnics go hand-in-hand, so grab a blanket and head to your local park. It’s a little more intimate, but you’ll also have lots of distractions with other people around or just being in nature. Picnics are also way more casual than sit-down dinners.
