Watch Out For These Signs
We all like to think our romantic connections are magic at first, but as time goes on, we start questioning things. Why don’t our partners talk about what’s going on with them? Do they even care? There’s no foolproof answer, but we’ve compiled 20 clues to help you figure out if your relationship isn’t real.
1. No Communication
When your significant other doesn’t communicate with you, it can be difficult knowing whether you’re coming or going. This alone should be a dealbreaker. Clear communication is key to a successful relationship.
2. Emotionally Distant
Everyone has a different love language, but when your spouse continuously neglects your needs or is unwilling to share their own, it shows a lack of intimate connection. If your relationship was real, your partner would care more about considering your emotional well-being.
3. No Effort
Does it feel like you’re the only one putting in work and making plans to strengthen your connection? Relationships, of any kind, require that two people put in effort. If your partner isn’t investing energy, you might want to re-evaluate.
4. Feeling Insecure
If you’re worried about your partner’s intentions or feelings for you, you’re likely in a fake relationship. Being truly loved means rarely questioning their affections. Some concerns are fine, but you shouldn’t feel consistently insecure.
5. Unreliable
When emergencies happen, do you feel like you can rely on them? If the answer is “no,” or “I’m not sure,” then you might want to add this to your list of relationship red flags. Your partner is the first person you should be able to turn to.
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6. Superficial Apologies
Does your partner continue to let you down in the same ways? Have you stopped believing their apologies? Words are just words, and when these “regrets” aren’t matched with actions that reflect that, it shows that their sorrys mean nothing.
7. Emotional Rollercoaster
When your partner's actions and behaviors are inconsistent, it may be a sign they're faking it. If they go from happy and loving one day to distant and cold the next, they likely don’t care enough about the relationship. This detachment happens when their priorities are elsewhere.
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8. No Compromise
It's crucial that you know your feelings matter too. When your partner’s unwilling to compromise or even consider how things make you feel, that’s a red flag. It means they’re unconcerned about how their actions might be affecting you.
9. Empty Promises
While they might talk about things they want to do with you, if they don’t follow through, their words are merely empty promises meant to drag you along. Instead, we advise holding them accountable to these commitments.
10. Gaslighting
Though this term is used too much these days, it's worth using it here. If your partner changes subjects or blames you when you're addressing a concern, they're trying to make you forget about it or feel bad for bringing it up at all.
11. Conditional Affection
When your partner uses your relationship conflicts as a reason to ignore you or disappear, they’re putting conditions on their affection. If you only get their attention by acquiescing to their demands, it’s not real.
12. Always Initiating
Both partners should be responsible for initiating intimacy. Sure, life circumstances mean it might be one for a while and then the other, but there should be a mix. If you’re the only one making a move all the time, that shows either extreme lack of interest from your partner or serious laziness.
13. Afraid To Communicate
If the idea of sharing your feelings with your partner gives you a sense of dread, that speaks volumes. You shouldn’t have to walk on eggshells. Your emotions matter and if their responses suggest otherwise, they likely don’t care about you the way you deserve.
14. Always Solo
Making plans of any sort without talking to you, inviting you, or even considering you, is a sign of neglect. It shows their indifference about whether you're there or not. That just means they're completely unconcerned about what you have going on that might be affected.
15. Uninterested
When was the last time your partner asked about your day? Do they ever wonder how a new experience of yours went? If the answer to those questions is no, their lack of curiosity shows you they don't really have an interest in you or your life.
16. Conflict Avoidance
It’s really hard to talk about the tough things in relationships. However, avoiding important discussions for fear of conflict is either emotionally immature and/or a sign of neglect. If your partner doesn’t care enough to have difficult conversations, they’re clearly uninterested.
17. Not Invested
Your relationship is likely fake if your partner's always "too busy" to invest time, care, and energy. It's important to understand when your partner has a lot going on, but if they're not making room for you in that chaos, you don't matter to them as much as you should.
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18. Lost Excitement
When you're no longer excited or interested in sharing things going on with you, that says a lot. It shows that you know in your soul telling them is a waste of breath. Instead, you'll start turning toward someone who actually cares about you.
19. Crossing Boundaries
Continuously overstepping limits you laid out at the beginning of your relationship shows complete disrespect. If you were clear up-front, then it’s perfectly reasonable to expect that they respect these boundaries. If they don’t, it’s yet another sign that their love is fake.
20. Not Happy
Think about it for a minute. Are you truly happy or are you just sticking with what you have because it’s easier than separating? While it’s true that dividing assets and moving on with your life is hard, and even scary at times, being happy is worth it.
